Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.

Nowadays, as both society and
education
are increasingly developing in every aspect, we face more challenging problems than we did in the past.
Hence
, regarding the integrity of
education
, what students should truly focus on has become a subject that has ignited academic debates
as well as
public discourse. Some university students desire to fine-tune their knowledge.
On the contrary
, teenagers consider emphasis on learning essential subjects. I will discuss the rationales behind these two views before showing why I
favor
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favour
show examples
the former statement. On the one hand, there are compelling arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of the reality that
people
need to become those who are well-rounded and can adapt to all situations with their good knowledge.
Firstly
, if we only approach a major subject, we can’t go beyond. They should prepare to be savvier, in terms of concentrating on college bachelor's. For illustrate, recruiters often choose a human resource based on the result of learning outcomes, combined with the experiences, and soft skills (of the workforce).
However
, some
people
are not qualified to apply for a job.
Consequently
, the annual unemployment rate has been rising in recent years.
On the other hand
, when university students come into being habits of learning and
practicing
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practising
show examples
more new topics, they can form the foundation of growth in mentality, and
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
For example
, for some economics majors in Vietnam on their own, the amount of knowledge given is not really enough.
Moreover
, we need to feed expertise. Another point to make is that
education
is inexorable in countries, supporting the community to have profound thoughts in a social context.
This
leads to a significant jump in
people
's intellectual level. For the reasons mentioned above, not only do I recognize that
education
is so important for
people
, but I
also
have the idea that young
people
should never lose heart in any circumstance, especially during the process of seeking to explore the world, going on discoveries and studying in other subjects.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within that paragraph closely support that main idea.
Lexical Resource
Try to diversify your sentence structures and use a wide range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly.
Task Response
When giving examples, make them specific and detailed to effectively illustrate your argument and make it more convincing.
Task Response
Demonstrated a balanced discussion of both views before stating a clear personal opinion, which is excellent for task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Effectively organized essay with a logical flow of ideas, enhancing readability.
Task Response
Good use of examples to support your arguments, making your essay more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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