Some argue that brain drain may lead to dire consequences for home country, while others think it has marginal effect on society. Discuss and give your opinion.

#argue #brain #drain #consequences #home #country #effect #society

Some individuals

claimed

Wrong verb form

claim

show examples

that

home

Correct pronoun usage

their home

show examples

country

can suffer from disastrous outcomes of

brain

drain

wheras

Correct your spelling

whereas

others believe that

this

carries out only minor effects on the community.

This

essay will shed light on both points of view and reveal my personal perspective. Those who

agre

Correct your spelling

agree

with the opinion that

brain

drain

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

as harmful as known consequences on society

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

presents

Correct subject-verb agreement

present

show examples

various grounds to support their disposition. First of all, they think that

brain

drain

is just important for individuals in order to advance their life,

meanwhile

Add a comma

meanwhile,

show examples

these people are just

the

Correct article usage

show examples

small part of

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

, which can not have significant results.

However

Iwould

Correct your spelling

I would

argue

Change the verb form

argues

show examples

,unlike

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

many others, that

brain

drain

has adverse outcomes

significanly

Correct your spelling

significantly

for

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

country

while

beneficial and

advantegous

Correct your spelling

advantageous

results for the host

country

that much.

Initially

,it can cause social and national imbalance

for

Change preposition

show examples

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

country

. In

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

precise explanation, if the majority of citizens of

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

country

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

attracted

Add a missing verb

are attracted

show examples

to the host

country

, it will alleviate the numbers of people in

Correct article usage

the home

show examples

home

Correct article usage

the home

show examples

country

as well as

pave the way for overpopulation in

Correct article usage

the host

show examples

host

Correct article usage

the host

show examples

country

Additionally

, lack of employees in

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

country

is lead

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

to t=regress the

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

condition of

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

country

. All in all, in spite of some compelling ideas of people that

brain

drain

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not have major impacts, I am inclined to support that the

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

and social issues that are caused by

brain

drain

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

country

are sufficient to consider

brain

drain

undesirable for

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

country

Submitted by bhoswriting on Fri Mar 29 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay presents a well-balanced discussion on the topic, offering insights into both perspectives before stating a clear personal stance. This structure is commendable.

Introduction/Conclusion

You've successfully introduced your topic and provided a conclusion that sums up your argument, effectively framing your essay. This clarity in structure enhances reader comprehension.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay effectively utilizes logical structure to guide the reader through your argument, making it easy to follow and understand. This contributes significantly to the coherence of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

244 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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