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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

#students #study #colleges #universities #country
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It is true that the number of
students
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 preferring studying abroad
than
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to
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 in their own
country
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 increases each year.
While
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 there are some drawbacks
of
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to
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 studying in a foreign
country
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, I still believe that these cannot overshadow the benefits. On the one hand, studying in an international setting can bring out some obvious disadvantages.
Firstly
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,
students
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 will have to live on their own, which means they will be alone in a foreign
country
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. When you have nobody you can rely on, ask for
a
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apply
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help or just talk to,
this
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 makes a
person
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 feel a bit depressed. For a foreign student, it is much harder to stay psychologically stable.
Secondly
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, international
students
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 will have to get used to the
country
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's culture and traditions. They will face
with
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apply
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a problem which is
also
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 known as culture shock.
On the other hand
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, I still believe that the advantages of experiencing international education outweigh the disadvantages. First of all, a new
country
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 means broadening a
person
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's horizons and getting new experience. Foreign
students
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,
for instance
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, can practice speaking non-native languages and upgrade their communicative skills and ability to find an approach to people from different countries.
Secondly
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, being a foreign academic helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
me to
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 become more independent.
For instance
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,
while
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 moving to another
country
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person
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 will have to negotiate with a lot of people about flats, education
and
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apply
show examples
finding jobs, buying products and budgeting his or her income. In conclusion, it seems to me that studying abroad has more merits than demerits, especially
it
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because it
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 makes
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person
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a person
the person
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 more self-organised.
As a result
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,
students
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 become mature and understand what it is the real life and how to solve problems by themselves.
Submitted by ulianaplo3108 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure to provide a more diverse range of sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
Task Achievement
Consider integrating more precise vocabulary specific to the topic of studying abroad to enrich your essay's expressiveness.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making your argument easy to follow.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view, thoroughly examining both the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad, which directly answers the essay prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunities
  • personal growth
  • development
  • exposure
  • diverse
  • perspectives
  • language skills
  • job prospects
  • adapting
  • environment
  • financial considerations
  • costs
  • homesickness
  • social isolation
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