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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the diagram below shows the floor plan of public library 20 years ago and how it looks now

the diagram below shows the floor plan of public library 20 years ago and how it looks now
#floor #plan #library #years
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The provided maps give information about the current Central
Use synonyms
Capitalize word
Library
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library
Capitalize word
Library
show examples
 plan
Correct your spelling
and
anh
Correct your spelling
and
 how it looked 20 years ago.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the major change is the
Replace the word
establishment
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establish
Replace the word
establishment
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 of the cafe and provided self-service machines.
In addition
Linking Words
,add
section
Add an article
a section
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of
Change preposition
for
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 storytelling
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
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 in the
library
Use synonyms
. In the past days about 20 years ago,the
library
Use synonyms
 it was
contain
Wrong verb form
contained
show examples
Correct article usage
a reading
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reading
Correct article usage
a reading
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room
Use synonyms
 for reading
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 and magazines
also
Linking Words
 there was
Correct article usage
a specific
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specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 place
Change preposition
for
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
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adult
Add an article
an adult
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 non-fiction
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the centre of the
Use synonyms
library
Add a comma
library,
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 there were some tables and chairs.The
enqiury
Correct your spelling
enquiry
 desk which
is provide
Wrong verb form
provides
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 services related to booking tickets and
Replace the word
booking
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book
Replace the word
booking
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 returns was located
Change preposition
On
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In
Change preposition
On
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 the right side after the entrance. Currently,there are many
Fix the agreement mistake
transformations
show examples
transformation
Fix the agreement mistake
transformations
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 to the Central
library
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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inculding
Correct your spelling
including
Correct article usage
the addition
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addition
Correct article usage
the addition
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 of new facilities
such
Linking Words
 as a cafe and lecture
room
Use synonyms
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
, add
Correct article usage
a section
show examples
section
Correct article usage
a section
show examples
 called
Correct article usage
the storytelling
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storytelling
Correct article usage
the storytelling
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 that
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
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contain
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
show examples
 many
Fix the agreement mistake
sofas
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sofa
Fix the agreement mistake
sofas
show examples
 and new types of fiction books for
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 and add
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 place for all reference books.
Next,
Linking Words
remove the adult non-fiction books and the
tabels
Correct your spelling
tables
 with chairs from the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 area
therefore
Linking Words
Wrong verb form
expanding
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expand
Wrong verb form
expanding
show examples
 the space of the
library
Use synonyms
.Rename the enquiry desk to
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
 desk where
are newly
Wrong verb form
new
show examples
 services
provided
Add a missing verb
are provided
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 called self-service machines.
Finally
Linking Words
, placed the videos and computer games in a
room
Use synonyms
 called
Correct article usage
the computer
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computer
Correct article usage
the computer
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room
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jumanh114 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words library, room with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • layout
  • shelving
  • reading area
  • reference section
  • encyclopedias
  • dictionaries
  • circulation desk
  • transactions
  • digital media
  • computer stations
  • multimedia rooms
  • café area
  • social environment
  • leisure-friendly
  • expanded reading areas
  • user experience
  • comfortable seating
  • children's section
  • engage younger readers
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