You are visiting another town next week for a short break. Write a letter to the tourist information centre. • tell them how long you are staying • ask for some suggestions for what to do • find out if there are any local events happening at the time

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to request information about accommodation to stay next
following
Change preposition
apply
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month.
Moreover
, I would be grateful, if you could inform me about the events which organising next month. I was going to stay there for a week. But,
last
day I wanted to make my holiday longer.
Thus
, I will stay for
fortnight
Add an article
a fortnight
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. I am going to make my holiday
best
Correct article usage
the best
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I have ever been.
Thus
can you inform me about
opportunities
Correct article usage
the opportunities
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of
Change preposition
for
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hotel
Add an article
the hotel
a hotel
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which
Change preposition
in which
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I will stay.
For example
, football stadiums, because playing football makes me happy.
Also
, If you could inform me about the dates of events from
1th
Change the ending
1st
show examples
April to 15th April, I would not have problems with seeking those. I want my holiday routine with traditional performances. Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your response. Sincerely, Bozorov Humoyun
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Remember to directly address each point of the prompt in a clear and concise manner. Ensuring all aspects are covered will help in keeping your response focused and relevant.
coherence and cohesion
While your letter shows a good attempt at structure, enhance clarity by directly linking your requests to the purpose of your visit, e.g., specifying the types of events you're interested in.
coherence and cohesion
For a more engaging and informative letter, consider specifying the type of accommodations you're interested in and why they would enhance your visit.
task achievement
To boost the writing tone, maintain consistency by using a formal tone throughout the letter, and consider using '1st' instead of '1th' for dates, as it is the correct format.
greeting and closing
You did an excellent job with your greeting and closing, making the letter feel appropriately formal and polite.
logical structure
Your paragraph structure generally supports the flow of information, effectively dedicating each paragraph to a different aspect of your inquiry.
complete response
You clearly stated the duration of your stay, providing important context for your requests, which is excellent in addressing part of the task.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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