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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two pie charts show the percentages of pollutants entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts show the percentages of pollutants entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #show #percentages #pollutants #part #ocean #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart represents
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 entered
ocean
Correct article usage
the ocean
show examples
 all values regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
organization reports in 1997 and 2007. The percentage of
Use synonyms
pollution
Add an article
the pollution
show examples
 that scored the highest
cased by
Verb problem
was
show examples
 air
pollution
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30% and the lowest are for litter and farm waste about 4% these records were collected in 1997.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 study found similar cases but different periods of time about
10years
Correct your spelling
10 years
 after
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 readings. The results
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
found that domestic sewage and air
pollution
Use synonyms
 same values
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 29% . The
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
litters
Fix the agreement mistake
litter
show examples
 dropped to zero
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 compared to 10 years before. By the end of
this
Linking Words
 research figured out several factors which could affect
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
 and renewable sources can be perfect solutions.
Submitted by s116656m on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pollution with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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