As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

As the number of private
cars
has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities.
due to
the release of dioxins into the environment and it begins to die,
this
affects the atmosphere,
smog
Correct word choice
and smog
show examples
begins.
Also
,
in addition
to environmental pollution, they
also
cause
harm
to human health and
harm
to animals, people begin to get sick often
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their immunity weakens, and animals begin to die. I think to solve
this
probem
Correct your spelling
problem
, people need to switch to green energy
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since green energy does not
harm
the environment and is
also
cheaper than regular gasoline or gas. There are
also
cars
that run on solar batteries, and there are electric
cars
like Tesla,
such
vehicles are more environmentally friendly and do not
harm
the environment. The only catch is that not all countries have electric
cars
and there are no electric gas stations. I believe that in order to protect our nature, humanity needs to switch to green energy and make electric
cars
more affordable so that everyone can afford them.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct purposes. For example, an introduction, several body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization aids reader understanding.
content
Try to provide more specific examples or data to support your arguments. For example, mention countries or cities that have successfully implemented green energy solutions for transportation.
introduction/conclusion
Work on introducing your topic more smoothly, explaining why it's an issue, then lead into your proposed solutions. Ending your essay with a concluding paragraph summarizing your main points and restating the importance of the issue could also strengthen your response.
topic relevance
You've identified a significant, topical issue and proposed a feasible solution, which is good for task response.
analysis
You've demonstrated awareness of the environmental and health implications of the problem, which shows analytical thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: