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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The line graphs
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 information on the percentage of people living in the
Philippines
Use synonyms
,
Malaysia
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, Thailand and Indonesia from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is shown that
,
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apply
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 all four cities followed the same trend, but
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 was the most populated city with the highest percentage of predictions for 2030 and 2040. In the first 20
years
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, the
Philippines
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 recorded the highest percentage of population of about 45% in 1990 which was followed by a decrease for the next 20
years
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 to reach approximately 40% in 2010. The numbers rose to reach about 43% in 2020.
Although
Linking Words
,
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apply
show examples
 the population in the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 was greater than
Malaysia
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 in the first 20
years
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, the number of people living in
Malaysia
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 rose to reach a peak of about 75% in 2020.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the prediction
years
Use synonyms
,
Malaysia
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 and
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 recorded about 80%,
50
Correct word choice
and 50
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% respectively. Thailand and Indonesia followed
similar
Add an article
a similar
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 trend in the first
20years
Correct your spelling
20 years
. The population in Indonesia rose significantly to reach a point of approximately 60% in 2040
while
Linking Words
 the number of residents in Thailand increased gradually in the following
years
Use synonyms
 to reach about 45% in the prediction year 2040.
Submitted by pauly837 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines, malaysia, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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