it is important for people take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantage?
It is important to take
risks
for people
, both in their professional and personal lives
. The writer will explain benefits
and Correct article usage
the benefits
drawbacks
for people
to take risks
.
Remaining the benefits
for people
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
risks
where people
can know
about new things and get experience. Verb problem
learn
People
can improve their knowledge about new things because they have the courage to take action when they take risks
about
their choice of life. Change preposition
in
Additionally
, people
can get experience when they take risks
because they can learn about what they do. For example
, people
in life have many choices for their future and it can be impacted when they do not have courage
to take Add an article
the courage
risks
because they do not know if it is correct or incorrect.
Remaining the drawbacks
for people
to take risks
where they can fail in their lives
and they can not learn from their mistakes
. People
can get failed in their lives
because they do not take risks
and they can get some failures from what they take risks
. In addition
, people
can not learn from mistakes
because they do not try to take risks
and it makes them not improve their quality of life. For example
, people
can not learn from their mistakes
because they never take risks
.
Conclusion
, the writer believes that there are Change preposition
In conclusion
benefits
and drawbacks
for people
who take risks
. The benefits
when people
take risks
are to know about new things and get experience. However
, there are drawbacks
for people
when people
take risks
to fail in their lives
and they can not learn from their mistakes
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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Introduction Clarity
Try to make your introduction clearer by directly stating whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This will provide a clearer stance for the reader.
Use of Examples
Enhance your essay by incorporating more specific examples. Real-life scenarios or hypothetical situations can significantly strengthen your argument and make your points more convincing.
Sentence Variety and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure and using a range of cohesive devices (such as however, moreover, for instance). This will make your essay flow better and be more engaging to read.
Conclusion Clarity
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively and reiterates your stance clearly. Restate the topic in a way that reflects the discussion in your essay.
Understanding of Task
You've effectively outlined both benefits and drawbacks of taking risks, showing an understanding of the essay's requirements.
Topic Relevance
Your essay maintains a clear focus on the topic, demonstrating good topic relevance throughout.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?