The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The
over
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apply

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resilience of humanity
on
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to

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fossil fuels and vehicles is linked directly
with
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to

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the exacerbating climatic situation. There exists an idea that by inflating the
cost
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of
fuel
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,
indviduals
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individuals

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may find it hard to afford the
cost
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and may eventually stop or reduce using private vehicles. In my perspective,
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks

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of
this
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solution
outweighs
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outweigh

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its benefits and there are few effective alternatives to handle
this
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problem.
Firstly
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,
increase
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an increase

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the
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in the

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cost
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of
fuels
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel

It seems that fuels may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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can introduce some other problems,
such
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as
econimical
Correct your spelling
economical
economic

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crisis
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crises

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and social disparity. If lawmakers hike the
cost
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of
fuel
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it will directly put
burden
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the burden
a burden

The noun phrase burden seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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on the
nation
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nation's

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economy.
Society
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Society's

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dependence on fossil fuels is massive. Everyone
need
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needs

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car
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a car

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or other mode of transportation to travel.
Moreover
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,
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cost
Correct article usage
the cost

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of goods delivered to a supermarket using trucks running by igniting
fuel
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will
also
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face a quick jump. All of these costs added up, will negatively affect the population and the
nation
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nation's

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economu
Correct your spelling
economy

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itself.
For instance
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, Canada
introduces
Wrong verb form
introduced

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the carbon tax that resulted in
spiked
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the spiked
a spiked

The noun phrase spiked cost seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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cost
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of goods.
Secondly
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,
lower
Correct article usage
the lower

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and
middle income
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middle-income

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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups

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may find it difficult to afford the
cost
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of gas,
meanwhile
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meanwhile,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase meanwhile. Consider adding a comma.

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this
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will
has
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have

The verb has after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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negligible
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a negligible

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effect on
Correct article usage
the high

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high income
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high-income

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group of society.
This
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can lead to social tension. Other effective solutions can be taken into consideration. To illustrate, investing in automation development. The
goverment
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government

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can invest money to fund inventions related to developing efficient engines. Engines that
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer

It seems that the verb offers does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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high
fuel
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

economy and
least
Correct article usage
the least

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contamination to nature.
For example
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,
Japanese
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the Japanese

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government gave grants to
the
Correct article usage
apply

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Toyota to invent the
world
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world's

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first commercial
hydrogen powered
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hydrogen-powered

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engine.
Furthermore
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, awareness
campaings
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campaigns
campaign

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should be conducted to motivate people to use
the
Correct article usage
apply

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public transport
instead
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of private. In conclusion, skyrocketing the value of
fuel
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can ameliorate the extreme weather conditions caused by cars and private vehicles, but it is not a comprehensive solution.

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coherence cohesion
To further refine your essay, consider diversifying your sentence structures to enhance readability. While you have presented your ideas clearly, varying sentence construction could make your argument even more compelling.
task achievement
While you provide relevant examples, deepening your analysis with more detailed exploration can augment your argument's strength. Consider elaborating on how exactly higher fuel costs lead to economic and social challenges, or further detail the successes of alternative fuel investment, like the Toyota example.
coherence cohesion
You presented a clear thesis statement and rounded off your argument effectively with a conclusion that revisits your main points. This structural integrity is commendable.
task achievement
Your argument is well-supported with specific examples, such as the carbon tax in Canada and the grants given to Toyota by the Japanese government. These instances effectively illustrate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive use
  • encouraging public transportation
  • sustainable energy sources
  • hydrogen-powered vehicles
  • generate additional revenue
  • environmentally friendly projects
  • disproportionately affects
  • lower-income individuals
  • accessible public transportation options
  • sudden hikes
  • inflation
  • social inequality
  • renewable energy
  • promoting carpooling
  • equitable
  • addressing environmental issues
  • punitive measures
  • sustainable lifestyle
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