IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given charts illustrate the percentage of households with electrical appliances in one nation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
hours
 per week they
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on housework per house during the
period
 of 1920 to 2019.
Overall
, the percentage of houses that own
washine
Correct your spelling
washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and
vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
 cleaners
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased during the time
period
 ;
while
 the number of
hours
 spent on house chores
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reduced over the same
period
. In detail, the percentage of ownership of refrigerators
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 nearly 0% in the
year
 1920 , and it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
climbed up rapidly during the next 40 years to 90% ,and
thereafter
, it followed a gradual increase to have refrigerators in every household in the
year
 1980.
In addition
, in 1920 nearly 30 % of places
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
owned a vacuum cleaner and that amount went up steadily with a slight reduction in
rate
Add an article
the rate
show examples
 from 1980 to have it in every household in the
year
 2000.
By contrast
,
although
,
washine
Correct your spelling
washing
 machines were owned by nearly 40% in 1920 it had only increased to a level of
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 65%
at the end
 of the time
period
.
Furthermore
, the number of
hours
 per week which had
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
show examples
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
house work
Correct your spelling
housework
show examples
was fell
Change the verb form
fell
show examples
 significantly from 50
hours
 to 30
hours
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1920 to 1960 , and following it posted a gradual reduction to have only just above 10 working
hourse
Correct your spelling
hours
 per week in the
year
 2019.
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, period, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduction" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: