IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

One of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
The best
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
show examples
 to avoid environmental conditions
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 to
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 rise in the cost of
energy
 bills for vehicles. I disagree with
this
 opinion because the world actually witnessed lots of increases in the
prices
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 cars , buses..etc and
Correct article usage
the affective
show examples
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
 creation for
rather
Change the article
rather an
show examples
energy
 is the best remedy for
this
 case. So, in
this
article
Add a comma
article,
show examples
 I am going to discuss
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two reasons.
Firstly
, lots of countries are
made
Verb problem
apply
show examples
concerned increase in the
prices
 of conventional
energy
 to encourage people to
use
 new
energy
.
For instance
, in Sudan
2011
Change preposition
in 2011
show examples
 the
prices
 of fuels
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doubled
thousands
Add the preposition
thousands of
show examples
 times and
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 the authorities gained
disappointed
Replace the word
disappointing
show examples
 results.
Moreover
, the expensive
energy
 is purchased by businessman, companies,
governmental
Correct word choice
and governmental
show examples
 institutions and all these components are interested in old power to their jobs.
On the other hand
, if governments establish reasonable Morden
fules
Correct your spelling
files
fuels
, these will lead to
use
 by the categories of society.
For example
, governments can encourage citizens to exploit public transport. Public transport is one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to reduce environmental problems and must create attractive public transport for
this
 purpose.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international organisations like
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
nations
Capitalize word
Nations
show examples
 must
formulated
Change the verb form
formulate
show examples
 laws to oblige States to
use
 friendly
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
energy
.
in addition
,the experts
economic
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
have
additional
Add an article
an additional
show examples
 duty to work and provide solutions to the high
prices
new
Change preposition
of new
show examples
energy
.
To conclude
,
although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conventional
energy
provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 good
priced
Replace the word
prices
show examples
 for individuals and entities
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the
negative
Fix the agreement mistake
negatives
show examples
 of it
is overweigh
Wrong verb form
outweighs
show examples
 the
positive
Fix the agreement mistake
positives
show examples
. The
use
 of friendly power is completely binding to all categories of society. If we were to
use
 conventional
energy
, we would lead to unwilling consequences.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

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Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument, showcasing your position clearly. However, refining your thesis statement to directly address the prompt can strengthen your introduction.
Example
Try to enhance the clarity and specificity of your examples. While the reference to Sudan in 2011 starts to provide a useful illustration, more detail about the situation and its outcomes would make your argument more compelling.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively restates your stance, summarizing your key points. To improve, make sure that your conclusion not only reiterates your position but also succinctly encapsulates the essence of your argument.
Coherence
Work on using transitional words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, facilitating smoother flow and coherence throughout your essay.
Development
For more impactful writing, focus on developing your main points fully. This includes expanding on your reasoning, providing more detailed examples, and explaining the connections between your points and the overall argument.
Position
Clear position stated in the introduction.
Example
Relevant examples provided to support arguments.
Conclusion
Effective restating of stance in the conclusion.

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