IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

the number of international conferences in three cities. 1965-2010

#conferences #three #cities
The line graph illustrates information about international
conferences
 held
in particular
cities
 between 1965 and 2010.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that all three
cities
 experienced fluctuations throughout the period. In 1995, all the
cities
 had almost the same number of
conferences
.
To begin
 with
city
 A,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hosted 35
conferences
 in 1965.
City
 B had 31 meetings. Interestingly, there was a downward trend for
City
 A for the next decade with about 20
conferences
 in 1975. In 1985, both
City
 A and B had about 30
conferences
 on average,
this
this
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
was followed up by a down and up
trend
Add an article
the trend
show examples
 with 20 and 25
conferences
 respectively until 2010. As for
City
 C, it experienced a dramatic increase from zero in 1965 to over 25
conferences
 in 1995. During
this
 year, all the
cities
 had a similar number of international
conferences
.
Next,
City
 C's number of
conferences
 decreased before reaching its highest point with about 30
conferences
 in 2010.
Submitted by Name_1234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Attempt to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Include a brief conclusion or summary to effectively wrap up your analysis.
relevant specific examples
Continue using data to support your points, as this strengthens your task response.
relevant specific examples
You have effectively utilized data to illustrate the trends and changes over time for each city.
logical structure
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each city, and logical progression of ideas.
clear comprehensive ideas
You've provided a comprehensive overview and detailed comparison of the trends affecting each city.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: