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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the government should spend money on supporting cultural activities such as music, theater or art. Others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #money #activities #music #theater #art #waste
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Some individuals believe that the
government
 should offer more funding for cultural
activities
 like music, theatre or art.
However
, others think
that is
 a waste. I believe that
government
 expenses should be provided for supporting culture. In the following essay, I will discuss these two opposing points of view and give my opinion. On the one hand, many people oppose investing in cultural
activities
 because there are more important issues to deal with.
For example
, countries around the world are facing many environmental problems.
Therefore
, national leaders should work with scientists to solve their problems. It’s no use spending money on cultural
activities
 before ensuring a safe environment for people. So governments have a responsibility to provide their citizens with a higher standard of living.
On the other hand
, cultural
activities
 play an important role in people’s lives. So I think that the
government
 using money to develop culture is necessary. Cultural events
such
 as New Year’s Eve or Christmas are occasions for family members to hang out together, to strengthen family feelings and communities.
Therefore
, the funding of these
activities
 helps preserve cultural diversity.
Besides
, it’s what makes our country more beautiful and attractive, not only bringing benefits to the population but it is
also
 good for culture. In conclusion,
government
 funding should be used for supporting cultural
activities
, as it may be beneficial for the population and artistic events.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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Examples
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. While you have presented clear thoughts, real-world instances could enhance your explanations and make them more convincing.
Paragraph Focus
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain clarity and effectiveness in your arguments. This helps make your essay more structurally sound and easier for readers to follow.
Structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining your position and summarizing your arguments, which strengthens your response. Keep up the good work!
Balance
You successfully addressed both sides of the argument before clearly stating your own opinion, which is crucial for a balanced and comprehensive discussion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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