IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these laws introduced ?. Is this a positive or negative trend ?

#countries #laws #limit #hours #employer #employee #trend
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Presently,
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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 in many countries decided to implement laws to restrain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working
hours
Use synonyms
 on the grounds of preempting
exploitation
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. The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay reckons that
this
Linking Words
 decision is a positive choice
due to
Linking Words
 high
productivity
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.         It is essential to understand that reducing the
hours
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
 can avoid
exploitation
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 from working for long
hours
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.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
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 the fact that many companies not only want to satisfy their customers
in
Change preposition
at
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 a fast pace but
also
Linking Words
 want to conduct a lay-off in personnel so as to save money.
As a result
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, companies are forced to give much
work
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the
Change preposition
to the
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 remaining
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employers
Correct your spelling
employees
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 and ask them to finish it in a short
time
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 which is out of their competence.
Therefore
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, these
employers
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 have to
work
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 for long
hours
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 in order to complete their mission without increasing the salary which is called
as
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apply
show examples
exploitation
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. A paradigm for
this
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 situation is China where
this
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 country is a competitive market that make
employers
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 have to make a
determine
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determination
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 to gain achievement if they want to continue working at
a prestigious companies
Correct the article-noun agreement
a prestigious company
prestigious companies
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. Because of
this
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 reason, many countries
stretchs
Correct your spelling
stretch
this
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 characteristic to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advantage of
employers
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 to give them many projects and
work
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 more at night prompting
to
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apply
show examples
exploitation
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 until
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
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 government had to ring the alarm and stringently steer the number of
hours
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 working at the company.         Another factor that
make
Change the verb form
makes
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time
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 limitation
become
Verb problem
apply
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a positive trend is ensuring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity
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. An explanation for
this
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 can be found in the form of people who have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 desire to boost their income,
have
Correct word choice
and have
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an
Change the article
the
show examples
 inclination to
work
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 for more
hours
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,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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working
Wrong verb form
work
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
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 at night after a long day
work
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 at the company.
As a consequence
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, overworking can drain their
time
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 leading to not having enough
time
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 to take care of their health.
Although
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 the
intial
Correct your spelling
initial
 goal is to earn more money,
this
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 long-term action is counterproductive resulting in the degradation of health and inducing burn-out.
Therefore
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, the result of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fatigue is the volatility of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity
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 and is capable of distracting them from concentrating on their
work
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 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 threat to the position and salary.
Thus
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, limiting the
time
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 facilitates guaranteeing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity
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.         
Hence
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, the aim of restraining working
hours
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 is to
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
exploitation
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.
Moreover
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,
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 changes can be seen as a positive trend
due to
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 ensuring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity
Use synonyms
.
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coherence cohesion
Consider adding more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and flow.
task achievement
Introduce specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments and main points.
coherence cohesion
Work on using transitional phrases more effectively to ensure smoother progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Good job in organizing the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure greatly aids in understanding your main points.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the topic and provides a logical explanation for the introduction of working hour limitations, demonstrating a good understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The use of specific countries as examples to illustrate your points helps in making your arguments more tangible and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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