IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The visuals give information about the number of spacecraft launched by various national governments between 1957 and 2007 and the purpose of each mission

#visuals #information #spacecraft #governments #purpose #mission
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart and the bar chart show which countries organized space
missions
 and the reasons for them in the period from 1957 and 2007.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 most
space craft
Correct your spelling
spacecraft
show examples
 were either Russian or American and were for communication or spying. Fifty- Fifty-three
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of all spacecraft were launched from Russia, with 3484
missions
 in total, which was absolutely the highest figure.
In contrast
, America is responsible for approximately half so many (27% or 1760
missions
). European nations launched just 4% of the total
while
 Japan, China, India, and Canada each sent less than 2% of spaceships into orbit.
However
, non-governmental bodies
such
 as corporations and students account for nearly 8% of all spacecraft. Over
this
 50-year period, most space
missions
 were either done for communications or surveillance - both were 27% of the total. All of the other reasons were 8% or under. Some were military spacecraft and a relatively small number were for science and exploration.
Submitted by emanbh422 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

sentence variety
Try to use a variety of complex sentence structures to enhance the flow and readability of your essay.
conclusion
Consider incorporating a brief conclusion to succinctly sum up the information provided and reinforce the overview.
specific details
You've done a great job at incorporating specific details and examples from the visual information to support your points.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure that neatly categorizes the data from the charts, which aids in understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: