Every year government and individuals spent money on New Year and religious celebration (Agree or disagree).

#year #government #individuals #money #celebration

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This

Correct determiner usage

These

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days

government

Correct article usage

the government

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and individuals to new

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religious

reilgious

Correct word choice

and reilgious

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So, some

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people

pepole

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people

think that money

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

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another things

Replace the adjective

another thing

other things

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envimernt

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sentiment

while

others believe that

religious

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religion

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is something very important

This

essay

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will

wil

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will

discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion ,

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one hand ______________________________ For

exmaple

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example

____________________________ In other hand ____________________________________________

Submitted by naifhlwani4 on Sat Mar 30 2024

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task achievement

Try to complete your essay by fully developing both sides of the argument and providing specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs for each side of the argument, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Link your ideas more clearly using cohesive devices such as conjunctions, pronouns, and transition words.

task achievement

For a higher score, ensure your essay directly addresses the task question throughout and concludes with a clear personal opinion.

task achievement

You have outlined both sides of the argument, which is a good start for developing a balanced essay.

coherence cohesion

Starting an essay by acknowledging different perspectives is a positive approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

53 words

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Every year government and individuals spent money on New Year and religious celebration (Agree or disagree).

Fully explain your ideas

Children today spend too much time on electronic devices such as smartphones and computers. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that having sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe that sports in school are a vital part of education.