IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter - describe what you enjoyed about the course -say how much cooking you've done since the course - suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing a letter to express my
gratitudes
Fix the agreement mistake
gratitude
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about
Change preposition
for
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 the cookery course that
i
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I
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had
Wrong verb form
have
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enrolled
Add a missing verb
been enrolled
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for
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in for
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 the
last
Linking Words
 6 months. Yet,
i
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I
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 was enjoying
for been
Wrong verb form
being
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 in
this
Linking Words
 cookery
school
Use synonyms
 because
i
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I
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 had learnt about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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basic cooking skills.
Although
Linking Words
,
i
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I
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also
Linking Words
 learned how to make mother sauces, which is the key to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 a chef.
However
Linking Words
,
i
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I
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 was so fortunate to join your
cutenaly
Correct your spelling
culinary
school
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.
i
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I
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 had learnt a lot of theory and skills for becoming a chef.
For example
Linking Words
,
i
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I
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 learned how to
sharp
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sharpen
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 a knife and how to identify
the
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apply
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food poisons.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
i
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I
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 am asking if your
school
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if
Correct word choice
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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could
be offer
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offer
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 more baking/
pastery
Correct your spelling
pastry
. The reason why
i
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I
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 raise
this
Linking Words
 idea? because it could help other people who are interested
to study
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in studying
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 baking and it could
be benefit
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benefit
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 your
school
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 by
seen
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seeing
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 more people
to
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apply
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enroll
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enrol
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. I appreciate your time and effort
to help
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in helping
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 me
and
Correct word choice
apply
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develop my skills as a chef. yours' faithfully, Tokateti Totoki

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Coherence and Cohesion
To further improve, try to organize your ideas more clearly and provide more details about each aspect. For example, instead of a general statement about learning basic skills and mother sauces, include specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate your points.
Task Achievement
It's great how you have responded to all aspects of the task. To enhance your response, consider giving more specific examples of your experiences and suggestions. For instance, sharing a particular dish you cooked after the course or explaining why a certain new course would appeal to students can make your letter more engaging and persuasive.
Task Response
You have successfully addressed all parts of the prompt in your letter. Your effort to cover the enjoyment of the course, post-course cooking activities, and a suggestion for a new course is commendable.
Tone
Your closing salutation 'yours' faithfully,' is appropriately formal and correctly used, fitting the letter's context well.
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