IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter - describe what you enjoyed about the course -say how much cooking you've done since the course - suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer

#minutes #cookery #course #school #feedback #director #-say #ve #offer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing a letter to express my
gratitudes
Fix the agreement mistake
gratitude
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the cookery course that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
enrolled
Add a missing verb
been enrolled
show examples
for
Change preposition
in for
show examples
 the
last
 6 months. Yet,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was enjoying
for been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 in
this
 cookery
school
 because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 had learnt about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic cooking skills.
Although
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
also
 learned how to make mother sauces, which is the key to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 a chef.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was so fortunate to join your
cutenaly
Correct your spelling
culinary
school
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 had learnt a lot of theory and skills for becoming a chef.
For example
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 learned how to
sharp
Replace the word
sharpen
show examples
 a knife and how to identify
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food poisons.
Therefore
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am asking if your
school
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could
be offer
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
 more baking/
pastery
Correct your spelling
pastry
. The reason why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 raise
this
 idea? because it could help other people who are interested
to study
Change preposition
in studying
show examples
 baking and it could
be benefit
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 your
school
 by
seen
Wrong verb form
seeing
show examples
 more people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
. I appreciate your time and effort
to help
Change preposition
in helping
show examples
 me
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
develop my skills as a chef. yours' faithfully, Tokateti Totoki
Submitted by riemwatokateti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To further improve, try to organize your ideas more clearly and provide more details about each aspect. For example, instead of a general statement about learning basic skills and mother sauces, include specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate your points.
Task Achievement
It's great how you have responded to all aspects of the task. To enhance your response, consider giving more specific examples of your experiences and suggestions. For instance, sharing a particular dish you cooked after the course or explaining why a certain new course would appeal to students can make your letter more engaging and persuasive.
Task Response
You have successfully addressed all parts of the prompt in your letter. Your effort to cover the enjoyment of the course, post-course cooking activities, and a suggestion for a new course is commendable.
Tone
Your closing salutation 'yours' faithfully,' is appropriately formal and correctly used, fitting the letter's context well.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: