IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three differnt countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three differnt countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph illustrates the percentage of citizens aged 65 and over in 100
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 from 1940 to 2040 in the USA, Sweden, and
Japan
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Units are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can clearly be seen that the proportion in all of the countries rose throughout the given period.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Japan
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 had the biggest increase over the
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In terms of food with the highest proportion at the start, the USA started at just below 10 in 1940. It
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 experienced a dramatic growth to precisely 15 in 1980. In the following 40
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, the number decreased slightly by approximately 2 before it started growing and reached its peak at about 23 in 2040. Regarding the other two countries with lower proportions, Sweden and
Japan
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 stood at around 7 and exactly 5, respectively. The population above 65
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 old in Sweden experienced a fluctuation.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the number skyrockets in 100
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to precisely 25 by 2040. The percentage in
Japan
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 decreased slightly by around 2 in 1990 before it started growing rapidly and witnessed a steep increase from 2030 to 2033.
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the number peaked at about 27.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words years, japan with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • demographics
  • population pyramid
  • geriatric
  • trend
  • increase/decrease
  • significant
  • milestone
  • predicted
  • reversal
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • historical data
  • future projection
  • statistical evidence
  • life expectancy
  • baby boomers
  • socioeconomic factors
  • elderly dependency ratio
What to do next:
Look at other essays: