Some say that watching television among children has detrimental effects on their growth while others say otherwise. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views
Watching
television
has become a hobby for today's generation which is thought harmful for
Change preposition
to
children
's development and some people believe it is beneficial for them. I discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs and agree with former
view.
Add an article
the former
Firstly
, people who argue that television
is beneficial for children
are considering that international programs encourage kids to work hard and grow worldwide because celebrities are casted
by some channels Correct your spelling
cast
who
influence Correct pronoun usage
that
young
generation to show their talents through media and become successful in life. To cite an example, in Correct article usage
the young
India
there are many shows which are seen by kids and they work hard to reach Add a comma
India,
on
those stages and participate in them, Change preposition
apply
consequently
, they get selected and become popular Worldwide.
Secondly
, spending excessive amounts of time
by
watching Change preposition
apply
television
is
not only stops Unnecessary verb
apply
children
's cognitive growth but also
waste
their Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
time
in which they should be playing outdoor activities as well as
doing
socializing. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
, International
survey has been conducted that 80% of Correct article usage
an International
children
invest their time
watching television
instead
of going outside to play with others, therefore
, they face some health obstacles such
as obesity as they do not do physical activity. As a result
, they become introvert
. Replace the word
introverted
Also
,television
does not encourage deep thinking and concentration.
In conclusion, children
can get
Verb problem
apply
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
by
watching Change preposition
from
television
and become famous in their lives but investing a lot of time
by
watching Change preposition
in
television
also
halt
their cognitive function and Correct subject-verb agreement
halts
create
various kinds of diseases.Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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Task Achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion. This helps in presenting a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Integrate a variety of sentence structures to enhance coherence and keep the reader engaged. Uniform sentence beginnings can make the text monotonous.
Task Achievement
To clarify your stance, explicitly state your agreement or disagreement at the beginning of the conclusion, reinforcing your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Support your claims with more detailed examples and evidence. Specific real-world examples strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates good task achievement by discussing both views and providing relevant examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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