Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Smartphones

Use synonyms

have become

one

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of the most important innovations today. It is easy to use and really convenient. There are a lot of types of

smartphones

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, from the cheapest

one

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to the most expensive.

Therefore

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, it is

also

Linking Words

easy to buy a smartphone. A person can have more than

one

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gadget.

Not to mention

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that they can effortlessly afford

one

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for their

children

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One

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reason is because they cannot attend to their

children

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For example

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, when their child cries or has tantrums, the easy way to handle it is to give them a phone to play videos on

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

or for them to play games.

This

Linking Words

can take a lot of time because

children

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most likely do not have that sense of time yet

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when

one

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feels like they have used their phone way too much. Another reason is the shifting in teaching

method

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methods

show examples

from the old textbook

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one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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to online classes. Parents are obligated to buy a smartphone for their

children

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because the school often uses links rather than literature references.

Thus

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, a student has to do their readings,

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

, or projects using their gadget. Increasing their hours spent on

smartphones

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. In my opinion,

this

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is a negative development for the young ones.

Correct pronoun usage

This

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due to

Linking Words

their low exposure to real physical experience. They enjoy playing with

smartphones

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rather than socializing with their friends

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

exploring nature or reading books. Later on, they can have eye and weak body problems.

For example

Linking Words

, a boy now can spend hours

laying

Correct your spelling

lying

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bed

Correct article usage

a bed

show examples

or sofa just to stare at the screen. He does not realize that it is bad for their sight and becomes easily bored when their phones run out of battery. He does not enjoy going outside for a walk or doing sports with his dad. It is not only bad for his physical health, but

also

Linking Words

for his mental health. Sometimes it is good to use gadgets to search for valuable information easily but a child cannot see that purpose. They do what they want and it is their parent’s duty to look after them. Prohibit them from using it as much as they want to prevent negative things on the internet

reaching

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from reaching

show examples

them. It would be good to not introduce them to gadgets

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at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

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because you might want them to live

healthy

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healthily

show examples

and experience many things, isn’t it?

Submitted by azkalfath07 on Sun Mar 31 2024

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In further developing your argument, try to include a wider range of examples and data. While personal anecdotes are valuable, citing studies or statistics could lend additional weight to your claims.

Argument Development

Consider exploring both the positive and negative aspects of the issue in a balanced manner, even if your personal stance leans towards one. This balanced approach can demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

Task Response

Your essay effectively covers the topic and offers a clear stance on the issue, which aids in addressing the task's requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, contributes positively to its coherence and cohesion.

Use of Examples

Using personal or hypothetical examples helps bring your arguments to life and makes them more relatable to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

394 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowaways, more teenagers want to become famous actors or singers. Why do you think this is happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people feel that equality between the genders has already been achieved while others feel there is considerable progress to be made. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The practice of illegally hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries, particularly developing countries. What are the causes of such hunting? What are the effects on the animals, and on the wider human society in these countries and beyond?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?