Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone What do you think are the reasons for this Do yo think this is a postive or negative development
Smartphones have become increasingly popular because
people
use them regularly, particularly in their free time. In my opinion, Use synonyms
this
is because most individuals want to fulfil their satisfaction by playing with Linking Words
asmartphone
since they can access everything more easily, which can lead to downsides as it has a detrimental influence on the user.
Playing a cell phone is undoubtedly fulfilling because Correct your spelling
a smartphone
people
consistently seek full enjoyment through it. Use synonyms
This
can drive them away from living in boredom as it can offer exciting activities, which would satisfy the users and spark a pleasant feeling to experience everlasting happiness. Linking Words
For instance
, most college students generally spend their leisure time during a long break by watching interesting videos or surfing through social media as they find it helpful to relieve their stress Linking Words
due to
a packed schedule. Linking Words
Thus
, Linking Words
people
will use their leisure time for playing on a phone if they want to feel more dynamic and less Use synonyms
stressful
.
On the other side, the excessive usage of smartphones will cause an addiction, which results in fewer interactions with other Replace the word
stressed
people
. They will lack social skills as they tend to focus on their phones without paying attention to their surroundings. To exemplify, a teenager in the U.S. often plays his smartphone games continuously, which makes him unable to communicate with his friends and family properly since he cannot express himself because he is already addicted to virtual reality rather than his actual life.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, Linking Words
people
will always look for fulfilment that can reduce their burdens or make them happier. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
habit will turn into an obsession that will negatively affect their life, which makes Linking Words
people
struggle to socialize and maintain their relations with others.Use synonyms
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the logical progression of ideas, consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through the essay smoothly. This can help clarify how one point leads to another.
Task Achievement
Try to provide a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects more in depth or evenly, as your essay tends to focus primarily on the negative aspects of smartphone use.
Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear and concise topic sentence that sets the stage for the rest of the paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, clearly framing the main topic and summarizing the main points.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as how college students use smartphones to relieve stress, which helps to illustrate your points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are well-supported with explanations and examples, making your arguments compelling and grounded.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.