Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some folks believe that learning
music
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,
art
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, and
drama
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at the primary stage is equal to learning other academic subjects. I strongly agree that
this
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is important for the child’s growth. Since it helps
children
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find their passion and talent from an early age,
while
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also
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increasing the child’s emotional intelligence. Learning
music
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,
art
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, and
drama
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may help stimulate
children
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to find their
talent
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talents
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. Because these subjects enhance
children
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’s right brain and their desire to create.
For example
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, in Indonesia, finding
art
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or
drama
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at a school club is quite common, and the majority of
students
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who join those clubs continue creating outside of school.
For instance
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, the
art
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club
students
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usually exhibit their
art
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in sorts of exhibitions across Indonesia, and the
drama
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students
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tend to sign up for theatrical plays.
Furthermore
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, studying
art
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,
music
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, or theatre is one of the most effective ways for
children
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to improve their emotional intelligence. Because it pushes them to express their feelings through
art
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.
Also
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, a recent study says that studying
art
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or theatre on a daily basis results in
children
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who speak their truth and voice.
Moreover
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, shaping them to become more independent and emotionally smart.
Additionally
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,
students
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who study these subjects tend to have a great bond with their community, since
music
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,
art
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, and theatre usually involve a lot of people. In conclusion, I firmly agree that primary stage
students
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should be exposed to
art
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,
music
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, and
drama
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from the primary level, because it shapes them into becoming more emotionally intelligent individuals, and
also
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helps them find their passion at an early age.

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planning
Plan your essay first. Say your view in one line, then give two reasons and a short example.
cohesion
Use linking words to join ideas. Use simple words like first, also, and for example.
evidence
Be careful with facts. Do not say a study says unless you name it or give a source.
grammar
Keep sentences short and clear. Break long lines into small parts.
content
Clear view with a strong stand.
examples
Good use of a local example from Indonesia.
ideas
Emotion and growth idea is easy for readers to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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