Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, it is common to hear about some different views of advertising as some
people
suppose that
advertisements
play an important role in pushing us to purchase
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
tend to think that advertising is so common to discover from
time
to
time
that it can sometimes be useless. It is true that
advertisements
are able to attract
people
's attention to persuade them to buy items as commercial advertising lives and liveclips are likely to provide the
mass
Fix the agreement mistake
masses
show examples
with useful information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
some new products in
this
world
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
fast
Add an article
a fast
the fast
show examples
pace.
People
may be attracted to purchase through the oral words and warm tones.
Sometime
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
, the commercial live host may even control buyers'
desicion
Correct your spelling
decisions
on whether
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
show examples
some goods or not.
However
,
people
need to admit
thay
Correct your spelling
that
some specific
advertisements
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
gradually turning
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
a kind of life
neccessity
Correct your spelling
necessity
which may result in losing attractive patterns for buyers.
For instance
, advertising which can be seen on
televisons
Correct your spelling
television
televisions
or just printed on
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
tends to lose its attraction because
people
may skip these
advertisiements
Correct your spelling
advertisements
played in front of some videos or dramas by subscribing
VIP
Change preposition
to VIP
show examples
service and
as well as
papers can be thrown away easily which may lead to
people
's overlook. In my opinion, advertising is not extremely successful as some
people
may
also
dislike the way some
advertisements
show and will think spending
time
on
advertisements
is a waste of
time
. But we still need common advertising to allow us
compare
Add the particle
to compare
show examples
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different goods and decide to buy a better one by accessing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the advertisement
an advertisement
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
.
To sum up
,
advertisements
may indeed appeal
buyers
Change preposition
to buyers
show examples
to afford goods
although
people
are sometimes less likely to focus on advertising
due to
reasons of the
time
and type of some specific
advertisements
.
Submitted by 1434110674 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to link your ideas more smoothly with the appropriate use of linking words. Phrases such as 'However,' or 'For instance,' are good, but more variety and more precise connections between ideas can make your essay flow even better.
task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, make sure to further develop your examples with more detailed explanations or personal insight. This helps to create a more convincing argument and showcases your ability to discuss topics in depth.
language accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical inaccuracies and typos to improve the overall quality of your writing. While your essay presents strong ideas, polishing the language will make your argument even stronger.
task achievement
You effectively discussed both views on advertising and offered your own opinion, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, creating a strong framework for your essay.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, which is excellent for illustrating your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: