The graph below shows the percentage of urban/suburban and rural households in a European country that had acces between 1999 and 2004.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates information about household
internet
Use synonyms
usage in cities & villages in terms of percentage in a country, which is situated in Europe from 1999 to 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, people who live in towns browse more
internet
Use synonyms
than the rural citizens. In both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases amount of users increased gradually. City dwellers used almost 15%
internet
Use synonyms
in 1999.
This
Linking Words
ratio of users tended to increase in the following years and reached almost 30%. Next two years
this
Linking Words
increased with the same ratio, which became almost 40% and 50% in 2001 and 2002 respectively. After that
steadily
Correct article usage
a steadily
show examples
increased rate
wasfollowed
Correct your spelling
was followed
and
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
the percentage was almost 55%, which was the most for
this
Linking Words
category. People who live in
country sides
Correct your spelling
countrysides
show examples
accessed below 5% in 1999, which was the least number
users
Change preposition
of users
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
rate of using the
internet
Use synonyms
grew with the progress of time, varying from almost 5% to 30%.
Finally
Linking Words
, it reached almost 35% in 2004.
Submitted by mokaddamul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words internet with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 6 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: