IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?

#world #towns #cities #centuries #people #time
A vast number
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
cities
 and
towns
 were constructed in ancient
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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. These were
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
places
 to live for people .
However
, these are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 longer suitable nowadays.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that these
towns
 and
cities
 lack public
transportation
 and essential modern
facilities
such
 as hospitals and schools.
Hence
 ,
lical
Correct your spelling
local
 governments should release public
transportation
 vehicles and start to establish necessary
facilities
 .
To begin
 with, the main causes of
towns
 and
cities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changing for insufficient to live is that these areas are lacking of public transport and necessary modern
facilities
.
Therefore
, locals in these
places
 are complaining
from
Change preposition
about
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 those and moving to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 parts of the country.
For example
, Aswan
city
 in Egypt
has
Verb problem
was
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 constructed and developed in old
president
Capitalize word
President
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 Nassar in
1900s
Correct article usage
the 1900s
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.
Nevertheless
, three
fifth
Change preposition
of fifth
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 people moved from the
city
 to Cairo
by fearing
Wrong verb form
because of fear of
show examples
Correct article usage
the difficulties
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difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
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 lifestyle . Obviously, Aswan do not have any metroes and buses to travel in
center
Correct article usage
the center
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city
 and some important public
places
 namely libraries and public parks.
As a result
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of locals
encouraged
Add a missing verb
are encouraged
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 to move to
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
 areas . Some possibilities to solve
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
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 are creating public
transportation
 vehicles and establishing necessary
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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.
For instance
,
Turkish
Correct article usage
the Turkish
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 government developed its
city
 which is Bursa . In fact, Bursa is a very old
city
 that was not
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 to live in
2000s
Change the article
the 2000s
show examples
.
Thus
, the government began to establish bridges and roads for
transportation
 and built Bursa
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
.
Consequently
 , the
city
 is one of beautiful
cities
 today. In conclusion,
although
 a number of
cities
 and
towns
 were constructed to
live
Verb problem
make
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 people
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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there ,
still
Correct pronoun usage
they still
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 it is not appropriate areas for locals by lacking public vehicles and modern buildings.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, governments can solve
this
 problem by creating public
transportation
 roads and establishing necessary
facilities
.
Submitted by ab.ciyani on

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Grammar & Style
Try to vary your sentence structures more to show a range of grammatical forms. This can add clarity and sophistication to your argument.
Vocabulary
Focus on the accuracy of your vocabulary. Some words or phrases may not fully capture what you intend to say, leading to possible confusion.
Structure
Revisit the clarity of your main arguments in both the introduction and conclusion. Ensure there's a strong, clear thesis statement that reflects your stance on the issue.
Content
Provide more specific examples or data to back up your points. While general examples are given, more detailed instances could strengthen your argument.
Structure
You have provided a logical structure by presenting problems followed by solutions, which helps in maintaining coherence.
Task Response
Your essay addresses the prompt directly, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.
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