IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places . At the same time , there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the government . Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

#tourism #places #time #concern #impact #inhabitants #government
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In today's globalisation era, it becomes easier to go to
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
 country as a
tourist
. It
also
earn
Verb problem
offers
show examples
 some gigantic benefits for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourist
 destinations. There is still some ongoing debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
 it may damage
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the local
people
 or it is going to have more advantages.
This
 essay discusses the
disadvantages
 of
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 abroad, but it does not mean that it will
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the benefits of having foreigners in the
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 destinations. Some
people
 may argue one of the
disadvantages
will
Verb problem
is
show examples
omit
Wrong verb form
omitting
show examples
 local
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 culture. They think that it can be damaged. The local customs can still be preserved well
while
 the inhabitants are firm
to say
Change preposition
in saying
show examples
 that they want to preserve local culture. Assertive communication
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign tourists will be the solution
challenges
Change preposition
to challenges
show examples
 the
disadvantages
Correct word choice
and disadvantages
show examples
.
Otherwise
 the
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
show examples
 argument, there is a high benefit
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 having international tourists. It will boost local
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 activity
such
 as local citizen will develop their handmade craft. The craft will grow the circular economy.
Moreover
, the more lively
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 activity for the culinary seller
also
. The local inhabitants will
also
 sell
such
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unique food in the
tourist
 destination that it can not be seen in the
tourist
's hometown. In conclusion, the
disadvantages
 of foreign
people
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
 to the
tourist
 destination
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the benefits are not happening. It will give more advantages rather than the
disadvantages
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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structure
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point for a more structured presentation.
argumentation
Introduce counterarguments more explicitly and consider providing specific instances or examples to elaborate on points made.
cohesion
To enhance readability, ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next by using linking words and phrases.
accuracy
Review the essay for small inaccuracies or informalities in language usage, aiming for precision and formality in expression.
task response
The essay successfully addresses both sides of the argument, analyzing the consequences of international tourism on the local culture and economy.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points, reaffirming the thesis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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