Many Elderly People are No Longer Looked after by Their Families but are Put in Care Homes. What are the possible reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trends?
The trend of putting senior family
members
in the
Correct article usage
apply
care
homes
has became
prevalent in the past few years. There are several plausible reasons for Change the verb form
become
that phenomena
Change the determiner
that phenomenon
those phenomena
along with
the following outcomes, which will be discussed in this
essay.
Firstly
, family members
do not have adequate time
. Generally, each member already engage
with their own business Change the verb form
engages
such
as work or study, hence
make them
cannot allocate Correct pronoun usage
they
time
to take care
the
older family Change preposition
of the
members
. Secondly
, they want a
liberty. Taking Remove the article
apply
care
ageing
family Change preposition
of ageing
members
require
others to perform cautious behaviours and create specific environmentsCorrect subject-verb agreement
requires
,
since Remove the comma
apply
they
vulnerable Add a verb
they are
they were
from
certain diseases Change preposition
to
such
as heart attack
. Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
Therefore
, it makes people cannot
easily act Verb problem
not
to
their according, resulting in Change preposition
according to
make
them want to live separately. It can be witnessed through urban residents in Jakarta, where they intentionally send their family Change the verb form
making
members
who are over 65 years old to the elderly house or Panti Jompo in order to have more freedom to held
parties or Wrong verb form
hold
sociable
events in their house.
The consequence Replace the word
social
from
that decision led Change preposition
of
into
several outcomes. Change preposition
to
From
the positive Change preposition
On
sides
, it can minimise the risks Fix the agreement mistake
side
from
having psychological disturbance. Recent research by Statista unveils that almost 87% of American Change preposition
of
adults
suffer from stress and burnout because they should nurture at least a senior in each household. The primary reason is due to
the restriction to perform certain behaviours that potentially make the seniors disappoint
or surprised. Wrong verb form
disappointed
Further
, adults
can have a
better Remove the article
apply
time
management. Imagine if ones
Replace the word
one
have
to attend Correct subject-verb agreement
has
virtual
meeting with a supervisor, and concurrently the senior family Add an article
a virtual
the virtual
members
need their assistance to take the stairs. Since looking after senior members
essentially require
special attention, it can be difficult for some people to manage their personal and professional Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
time
; therefore
, put
them in Wrong verb form
putting
the
Correct article usage
apply
care
homes
can be helpful for adults
as they will saving
more Wrong verb form
save
times
to focus on their personal or professional matters. Fix the agreement mistake
time
On
Change preposition
In
the
contrast, the action itself potentially Correct article usage
apply
reduce
the intimacy levels between family Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
members
. Since they live in separate place
, the seniors Fix the agreement mistake
places
are
possibly Unnecessary verb
apply
lost
their contacts and the scarcity to meet each other often, causing a degradation of intimacy between the younger and older Wrong verb form
lose
members
. Moreover
, the
Correct article usage
apply
adults
can experience lack
of nutrients. In fact, several nursing Correct article usage
a lack
homes
already scheduled the general menu for meals, which is not adjusted to the requirements of each senior, hence
it can make their conditions vulnerable to certain illness
.
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
To conclude
, although
the trend is quite popular these days, the decision to put older family member
in Fix the agreement mistake
members
the
Correct article usage
apply
care
homes
may be fueled by the unavailability to allocate specific time
as well as
the act to want
Change preposition
of wanting
a
freedom. Remove the article
apply
Although
it is good for their psychological conditions as well as
time
management, it can reduce the
intimacy levels and Correct article usage
apply
dangerous
for the health level of Add a missing verb
be dangerous
adults
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures to enhance readability and sophistication of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transition words to improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Ensure you proofread for minor spelling or grammatical errors to maintain clarity.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to better express nuances in your argument.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
coherence cohesion
Well-supported main points with relevant examples, especially the reference to Jakarta and the Statista research.
task achievement
Your essay comprehensively covers the task's requirements, addressing both causes and consequences.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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