IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Teenagers nowadays spend a huge amount of time on social networking sites (such as Facebook). Some people think that these platforms adversely affect teenagers while others believe students can enjoy much of the network's benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Social network sites
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
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 popular among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers
Use synonyms
. Some people think that it bears
disadvantage
Correct article usage
a disadvantage
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others explain that it is beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that spending
much
Rephrase
too much
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time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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 social networks
giving
Verb problem
has
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bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
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in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
Use synonyms
.
At
Change the preposition
In
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 the beginning, by using social
media
Use synonyms
teenagers
Use synonyms
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 attracted
in
Change preposition
to
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 many fake things, addicted
of
Change preposition
to
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 them and
loosing there
Verb problem
lose
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 valuable
time
Use synonyms
 which may they
use
Wrong verb form
used
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in
Change preposition
for
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 their studies. Facebook,
Correct word choice
and Instagram
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Instagram
Correct word choice
and Instagram
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 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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prime
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
Change preposition
of
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in
Change preposition
of
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 which
teenagers
Use synonyms
Wrong verb form
spend
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spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 too much
time
Use synonyms
Change preposition
apply
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for
Change preposition
apply
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gossiping,
Correct word choice
and share
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Correct word choice
and share
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share
Wrong verb form
sharing
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 their feelings and
this
Linking Words
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
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distract
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
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 them
Change preposition
from
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for
Change preposition
from
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 their real life
as well as
Linking Words
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
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 they
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
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Change preposition
in
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with
Change preposition
in
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 via those
media
Use synonyms
 and unfortunately
Correct your spelling
lose
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loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 their golden builder
time
Use synonyms
 for their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.It
is
Change the verb form
is therefore agreed
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therefore
Linking Words
 agree that using social
media
Use synonyms
 is not necessary for enjoying the
time
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that it is beneficial for their learning purpose.
Although
Linking Words
 it is right that social
media
Use synonyms
 may help
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
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but
Correct word choice
apply
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learners should gain their knowledge
other
Change preposition
through other
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 educational websites or apps.
This
Linking Words
 essay
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
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 with
this
Linking Words
 because it is possible to
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
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 without using social
platfoms
Correct your spelling
platforms
.
For example
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, YouTube, google
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 and some other
media
Use synonyms
 help
students
Use synonyms
 very much for their education purpose. It is possible to get all
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
 without social
media
Use synonyms
 as nowadays there is available of online papers ,
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
 and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 beneficial
chanel
Correct your spelling
channels
.
Correct word choice
available.
show examples
 In conclusion,
while
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 the disadvantage of social
media
Use synonyms
speard
Correct your spelling
spread
 most around
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers
Use synonyms
, some
till
Correct your spelling
still
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 feel that it is open the learning opportunity
amon
Correct your spelling
among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 alternative learning
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 in which they enjoy the opportunity especially
teenagers
Use synonyms
 without using social sites.

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introduction conclusion present
Work on enhancing the clarity and structure of your introduction to better outline the essay's focus and scope.
supported main points
Try to add more specific examples and evidence to back up your points. This helps strengthen your arguments and makes them more convincing.
logical structure
Focus on organizing your essay in a more logical, clear manner. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the one before it.
complete response
Ensure that your response directly addresses the question. Provide a clear stance and back it up with cohesive arguments throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by keeping paragraphs focused on a single idea and using transitional phrases to link ideas and paragraphs.
relevant specific examples
Integrate more relevant, specific examples to support your views. This will help illustrate your points more clearly and make your argument more compelling.
complete response
You've successfully discussed both views on the impact of social networking sites on teenagers.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is a good fundamental approach.
supported main points
You aimed to provide support for your main ideas, which is a key aspect of a strong argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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