Teenagers nowadays spend a huge amount of time on social networking sites (such as Facebook). Some people think that these platforms adversely affect teenagers while others believe students can enjoy much of the network's benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Social network sites
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
show examples
popular among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
. Some people think that it bears
disadvantage
Correct article usage
a disadvantage
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
while
others explain that it is beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
.
This
essay agrees that spending
much
Rephrase
too much
show examples
time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social networks
giving
Verb problem
has
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
the beginning, by using social
media
teenagers
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
attracted
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
many fake things, addicted
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
them and
loosing there
Verb problem
lose
show examples
valuable
time
which may they
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
their studies. Facebook,
Correct word choice
and Instagram
show examples
Instagram
Correct word choice
and Instagram
show examples
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prime
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
Change preposition
of
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
which
teenagers
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
too much
time
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gossiping,
Correct word choice
and share
show examples
Correct word choice
and share
show examples
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
their feelings and
this
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
show examples
distract
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
show examples
them
Change preposition
from
show examples
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
their real life
as well as
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
they
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
Change preposition
in
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
via those
media
and unfortunately
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
their golden builder
time
for their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.It
is
Change the verb form
is therefore agreed
show examples
therefore
agree that using social
media
is not necessary for enjoying the
time
.
On the other hand
, some people think that it is beneficial for their learning purpose.
Although
it is right that social
media
may help
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learners should gain their knowledge
other
Change preposition
through other
show examples
educational websites or apps.
This
essay
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
with
this
because it is possible to
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
without using social
platfoms
Correct your spelling
platforms
.
For example
, YouTube, google
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
and some other
media
help
students
very much for their education purpose. It is possible to get all
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
without social
media
as nowadays there is available of online papers ,
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
beneficial
chanel
Correct your spelling
channels
.
Correct word choice
available.
show examples
In conclusion,
while
the disadvantage of social
media
speard
Correct your spelling
spread
most around
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
, some
till
Correct your spelling
still
show examples
feel that it is open the learning opportunity
amon
Correct your spelling
among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
.
However
, there are
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
alternative learning
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
in which they enjoy the opportunity especially
teenagers
without using social sites.
Submitted by tanakchakma55 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Work on enhancing the clarity and structure of your introduction to better outline the essay's focus and scope.
supported main points
Try to add more specific examples and evidence to back up your points. This helps strengthen your arguments and makes them more convincing.
logical structure
Focus on organizing your essay in a more logical, clear manner. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the one before it.
complete response
Ensure that your response directly addresses the question. Provide a clear stance and back it up with cohesive arguments throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by keeping paragraphs focused on a single idea and using transitional phrases to link ideas and paragraphs.
relevant specific examples
Integrate more relevant, specific examples to support your views. This will help illustrate your points more clearly and make your argument more compelling.
complete response
You've successfully discussed both views on the impact of social networking sites on teenagers.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is a good fundamental approach.
supported main points
You aimed to provide support for your main ideas, which is a key aspect of a strong argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: