Teenagers nowadays spend a huge amount of time on social networking sites (such as Facebook). Some people think that these platforms adversely affect teenagers while others believe students can enjoy much of the network's benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Social network sites
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
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popular among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers
. Some people think that it bears
disadvantage
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a disadvantage
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for
the
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apply
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teenagers
while
others explain that it is beneficial for
the
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apply
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students
.
This
essay agrees that spending
much
Rephrase
too much
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time
in
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on
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social networks
giving
Verb problem
has
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bad
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a bad
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impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
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in
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on
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the
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apply
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students
.
At
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In
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the beginning, by using social
media
teenagers
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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attracted
in
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to
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many fake things, addicted
of
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to
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them and
loosing there
Verb problem
lose
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valuable
time
which may they
use
Wrong verb form
used
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in
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for
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their studies. Facebook,
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and Instagram
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Instagram
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and Instagram
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are
the
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apply
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prime
example
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examples
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Change preposition
of
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in
Change preposition
of
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which
teenagers
Wrong verb form
spend
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spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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too much
time
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apply
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for
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apply
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gossiping,
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and share
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Correct word choice
and share
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share
Wrong verb form
sharing
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their feelings and
this
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distracts
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distract
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
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them
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from
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for
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from
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their real life
as well as
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
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they
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
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Change preposition
in
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with
Change preposition
in
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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via those
media
and unfortunately
Correct your spelling
lose
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loose
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lose
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their golden builder
time
for their
life
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lives
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.It
is
Change the verb form
is therefore agreed
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therefore
agree that using social
media
is not necessary for enjoying the
time
.
On the other hand
, some people think that it is beneficial for their learning purpose.
Although
it is right that social
media
may help
for
Change preposition
apply
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students
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
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but
Correct word choice
apply
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learners should gain their knowledge
other
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through other
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educational websites or apps.
This
essay
disagree
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disagrees
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with
this
because it is possible to
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
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without using social
platfoms
Correct your spelling
platforms
.
For example
, YouTube, google
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
and some other
media
help
students
very much for their education purpose. It is possible to get all
information
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the information
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without social
media
as nowadays there is available of online papers ,
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
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and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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beneficial
chanel
Correct your spelling
channels
.
Correct word choice
available.
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In conclusion,
while
the disadvantage of social
media
speard
Correct your spelling
spread
most around
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers
, some
till
Correct your spelling
still
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feel that it is open the learning opportunity
amon
Correct your spelling
among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
.
However
, there are
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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alternative learning
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
in which they enjoy the opportunity especially
teenagers
without using social sites.
Submitted by tanakchakma55 on

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logical structure
Focus on organizing your essay in a more logical, clear manner. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the one before it.
complete response
Ensure that your response directly addresses the question. Provide a clear stance and back it up with cohesive arguments throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
Integrate more relevant, specific examples to support your views. This will help illustrate your points more clearly and make your argument more compelling.
complete response
You've successfully discussed both views on the impact of social networking sites on teenagers.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is a good fundamental approach.
supported main points
You aimed to provide support for your main ideas, which is a key aspect of a strong argument.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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