Many people work long hour, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hour #time #leisure #activities #situation

One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in working

hours

to live a good life.

While

many people argue that long

hours

make you tired and unable to take part in different activities others believe that making cash can bring internal happiness. Both sides of

this

topic will be carefully analysed before constructing an inference. On the one hand, competition and expenses,

due to

expensive groceries and other household goods, it hard to survive. Immigrants’ first priority is to pay rent and buy daily-use goods. Another factor is that folk do not earn enough payment, so they cannot spare time for other activities.

For example

, a shopkeeper opens his shop from 6a.m. to 9 p.m. on a daily basis and needs to pay rent and outgoings. If he takes a day off, he may not be able to pay his fixed expenses.

As a result

, it is evident that showroom owners are always busy with their businesses to survive in the market.

On the other hand

, funds and lifestyle, the primary factor is that if a person has good money he can take holidays one time and enjoy for a longer period.

In addition

, wealthy society never rest until change their lifestyles. So they do not care about long

hours

. Their vision is clear do hard work for a few years and relax to the retirement age.

For instance

, contractors of National Broadband Network (NBN) company people do five to ten years of hard work after that they enjoy their whole life because they already earned lots of money.

As a consequence

, it is apparent why tradies retire early from their profession. In conclusion, following the analysis of long

hours

makes you tired and low in energy but it pays for the rest of your life, so you can enjoy more wealth and status.

However

, it is predicted that

this

trend is going to continue in the future as well.

Submitted by rbtech65 on Mon Apr 01 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

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Including a more precise range of examples and elaborative details could enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.

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You've provided a balanced view, analyzing both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a good Task Response.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your main points are supported and relevant, contributing to a coherent argument throughout the essay.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
chronic stress
financial stability
career progression
burnout
reduced productivity
personal development
leisure activities
work performance
career-oriented
job satisfaction
hobbies
fulfilling life
immersion
hone professional skills
fatigue
creativity

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