IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Reducing global environment damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. To what extent agree or disagree?

#environment #damage #governments #individuals
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It is argued that
for
Change preposition
to
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 reduce
global
Correct article usage
the global
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environment
Use synonyms
government
Use synonyms
 take actions rather than individual
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement that
everyone
Use synonyms
 should
be take
Change the verb form
take
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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part
for
Change preposition
in
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 reducing environmental damage because it is a social responsibility for all and not only
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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everyone
Use synonyms
took
Wrong verb form
takes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
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on
Change preposition
of
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 the
environment
Use synonyms
. In the beginning, as we are human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 we have some responsibilities to our
environment
Use synonyms
 and society.
Although
Linking Words
 it is
difficults
Correct your spelling
difficult
 for individuals to reduce the damages
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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it is not very hard if
everyone
Use synonyms
do
Change the verb form
does
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 the
work
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 with sharing. People may create some group and start the
work
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 for our society.
For example
Linking Words
,
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
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 can start
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work
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 from
there
Replace the word
their
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house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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 by
manage
Change the verb form
managing
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 their home dusting and if
everyone
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do
Change the verb form
does
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 it ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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reducing
work
Use synonyms
 is
more
Change the word
apply
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easier for others.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
besides
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the government
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government
Add a comma
government,
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 we all took
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
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from
Change preposition
of
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 our
environment
Use synonyms
. A prime example is that we all
breathing
Wrong verb form
breathe
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 and the oxygen
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
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 from the
environment
Use synonyms
 so it is duties for all to keep the
environment
Use synonyms
 fresh and safe.
Government
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 should take some
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
strickly
Correct your spelling
strictly
show examples
 that they may give fine if anyone
polluted
Wrong verb form
pollutes
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 the roads or through rubbish openly.
Besides
Linking Words
, people must be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 purpose. In conclusion, reducing the global damage will not done without individuals helping . As we all
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefits from our
environment
Use synonyms
 it is responsible for all to keep it clean
that
Correct word choice
so that
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 we get more extended
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 from our
environment
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tanakchakma55 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you're directly answering the question posed by the topic. While it's good to discuss the roles of individuals and the government, linking their responsibilities back to the main argument helps in achieving a complete response to the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, try to build a logical flow between your ideas. Introducing your arguments, supporting them with examples, and then summarizing them can make your essay more cohesive.
Task Achievement
Including more specific examples can strengthen your argument. While you've provided broad illustrations, focusing on particular scenarios or case studies can make your points more convincing.
General
Watch out for grammatical errors and typos that can detract from your message. Proofreading your essay can help you identify and correct these issues.
Content Insight
Stressed the importance of both individual and government roles in tackling environmental issues, which aligns with a holistic understanding of the issue at hand.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and strive to frame the discussion effectively, contributing to a more structured presentation of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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