IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Robotics and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace . Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

#robotics #intelligence #humans #workplace #impact #society
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Nowadays, human beings seem to be replaced by
technology
Use synonyms
 in working. From
this
Linking Words
 author's perspective, the high criteria
in
Change preposition
for
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 producing and industrializing can be considered as a suitable reason and it would be an obvious disadvantage for society. There are not any doubts about the ability
of producing
Replace the preposition
to produce
show examples
 and working
of
Change preposition
apply
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machines
due to
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 being repetitive. To explain, all workers need to have a suitable timetable for their
work
Use synonyms
 which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a balance between working and resting,
whereas
Linking Words
,
robots
Use synonyms
 can
work
Use synonyms
 continuously without any difficulty in operation.
As a result
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,
robots
Use synonyms
 can have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher efficiency in producing when compared to human beings.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the accuracy and wisdom of artificial intelligence, people can minimize their mistakes and predict what is the most effective approach to
work
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some enormous companies in the world
such
Linking Words
 as Google or Apple,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are using automatic
robots
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 for mass production and virtual assistants in their programs in order to maximize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
efficiency. In terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human development, there is an undeniable point that the superiority of
technology
Use synonyms
 can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high rate of unemployment. Obviously, the ability of robotic working
is outweighing
Wrong verb form
outweighs
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human’s
Change noun form
humans
show examples
, so the seminar does not need to take
labors
Change the spelling
labours
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 seriously as
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 inferior ability.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 can do some jobs
well
Rephrase
better
show examples
 than
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 like writing reports or analyzing data because of the wide range of information and
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
.
Hence
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, the
replacing
Replace the word
replacement
show examples
 of
technology
Use synonyms
 can be claimed
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 negative impact
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the high rate of unemployment. In conclusion, the superiority of
robots
Use synonyms
 and artificial intelligence can be the primary reason for replacing man-made
work
Use synonyms
 and it may
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a negative impact
due to
Linking Words
 the high rate of unemployment.
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Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure to have a clear and concise introduction and conclusion. While yours are quite good, refining them for clarity and punch can further enhance the overall quality of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and transitional phrases to enhance the flow and cohesion of your paragraphs. This will also make your writing more engaging.
Task Response
To strengthen your argument, provide more specific examples and data wherever possible. Examples and data not only support your points but also make your argument more persuasive.
Task Response
Avoid generalizations and ensure that every claim is backed by a specific example or reasoning. This helps to make your essay more informative and credible.
Task Response
You've outlined clear arguments on both sides of the issue, which shows a good understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow, which makes it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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