Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed o replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Machines and AI
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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said to be developed to take over the role of
humans
in workplaces.
This
writer believes the reason for
this
phenomenon is
because
Correct word choice
apply
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the desire of manufacturers to boost
work
efficiency, but
this
will lead to mass job loss globally,
as
Change preposition
with
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a critically negative impact on communities. It must be understood that
such
technologies as mentioned are created to fulfill the
ever increasing
Add a hyphen
ever-increasing
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demand
of
Change preposition
for
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effective
work
. These kinds of technology usually have better accuracy than
humans
, with
lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
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mistakes
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced when working. Because of
this
superior characteristic, robots can outperform
humans
in
work
, eventually producing even better products without any scratch.
For example
,
to
Change preposition
according to
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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research in Ho Chi Minh
city
Capitalize word
City
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, the quality of cars manufactured by a small factory of Honda within the area, is 100% up to the standards with automatic machines installed,
whereas
it is 80% with only human workers.
However
, the critical downside of
this
advancement adversely affects
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is unemployment. In order to increase the
work
quality, bosses of factories will install more
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
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, or even artificial intelligence to support them, rather than recruiting more people to serve the same purpose.
Consequently
, the chances
to get
Change preposition
of getting
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a job will gradually
shrunk
Wrong verb form
shrink
show examples
,
while
Correct word choice
which
show examples
also
means more citizens will become unemployed. To illustrate,
according to
a worldwide survey in 2021, more than half of the jobless community said that being replaced by robots was the primary cause of their jobless condition. In conclusion, technologies
such
as robots or artificial intelligence should be installed in many working facilities to reach better results.
Nevertheless
, a balance between the
Correct your spelling
workforce
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work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
of machines and
humans
in workplaces is advisable to decrease the unemployment rate, whilst avoiding adverse effects on the society

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Vocabulary
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a broader range of vocabulary to enhance language complexity.
Content
It would be beneficial to explore both positive and negative impacts more deeply to provide a more balanced view.
Grammar
Watch out for minor grammar mistakes and try to correct them. Making fewer errors will improve the overall clarity of the essay.
Examples
To strengthen your argument, include more detailed examples and possibly statistics from reliable sources.
Structure
You have included a logical structure in your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in clear communication of your points.
Task Response
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic and addresses all parts of the task, which is crucial for task achievement.
Use of Examples
You effectively use examples to support your main points, showcasing critical thinking.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Cost-effective
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancements
  • Job displacement
  • Economic disparity
  • Dependency
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Ethical concerns
  • Moral questions
  • Standard of living
  • Income gap
  • Widespread automation
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