IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now.

#world #towns #cities #centuries #people #time
A vast number of
cities
 and
towns
 were constructed in ancient
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
. These were
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
places
 to live for people.
However
, these are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 longer suitable nowadays.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that these
towns
 and
cities
 lack public
transportation
 and essential modern
facilities
such
 as hospitals and schools.
Hence
, local governments should establish
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
transportation
 system and start to establish
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
facilities
.
To begin
 with, the main causes of
towns
 and
cities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changing for insufficient to live is that these areas are lacking of public transport and necessary modern
facilities
.
Therefore
, locals in these
places
 are complaining
from
Change preposition
about
show examples
 those and moving to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 parts of the country.
For example
, Aswan a
city
 in Egypt
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 constructed and developed
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 old
president
Capitalize word
President
show examples
 Nasser in the 1900s.
Nevertheless
, three
fifth
Change preposition
of fifth
show examples
 people moved from the
city
 to Cairo
by fearing
Wrong verb form
because of fear of
show examples
Correct article usage
the difficulties
show examples
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
 lifestyle. Obviously, Aswan does not have any metros and buses to travel in
center
Correct article usage
the center
show examples
city
 and a number of essential public
places
 namely libraries and public parks.
As a result
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of locals
encouraged
Add a missing verb
are encouraged
show examples
 to move to modern areas. Some possibilities to solve these problems are creating public
transportation
 vehicles and establishing necessary
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
.
For instance
,
Turkish
Correct article usage
the Turkish
show examples
 government developed its
city
 which is Bursa. In fact, Bursa is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 extremely aged
city
 that was not
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 to live in the 2000s.
Thus
, the government began to establish bridges and roads for
transportation
 and built Bursa
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
.
Consequently
, the
city
 is one of beautiful
cities
 in Turkey today. In conclusion,
although
 a number of
cities
 and
towns
 were constructed to
live
Verb problem
make
show examples
 people
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
there,
still
Correct pronoun usage
they still
show examples
 it is not appropriate areas for locals by lacking public vehicles and modern buildings in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 age.
On the contrary
, governments can solve
this
 problem by creating public
transportation
 roads and establishing necessary
facilities
.
Submitted by ab.ciyani on

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