Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
For the
last
few decades, officials of the countries expended
a staggering amount of money on astronautics. Wrong verb form
have spent
While
I believe that is
a
worth studying Change the article
apply
field
, I argue that prior to that Add an article
the field
spendings
on Fix the agreement mistake
spending
space
program
authorities should improve their areas.
On the one hand, Fix the agreement mistake
programs
space
exploration has been the hottest topic of research of
the 21st century. To justify the rights for outgoings for Change preposition
in
space
exploration, as long as this
field
is a big concern for scientists, governments should be open to provide
funds for scientists for their investigations. Wrong verb form
providing
Hence
, majority
of the experts proclaim that findings from Correct article usage
the majority
cosmos
can benefit the Correct article usage
the cosmos
earth
in many aspects Capitalize word
Earth
such
as,
unfamiliar materials and water from other planets. Remove the comma
apply
However
, those are not proven theories.
On the other hand
, as long as we ( people of the earth) have limited knowledge about this whole universe spendings
on the outer world can be a total loss. People should acknowledge that waste Change the determiner
this whole universe spending
these whole universe spendings
on
Change preposition
in
this
field
has a risk. Moreover
, in my opinion, we should make our territory better before expending resources to galaxy
Correct article usage
the galaxy
due to
two main reasons. Firstly
, it is a considerable question whether or not we have to explore outer space
earlier than exploring our planet. For example
, we still do not know much about deep
sea. Add an article
the deep
Secondly
, governments need to ensure is it really comfortable for everyone to live in their nations.
In conclusion, although
astronautics is a very interesting field
for scientists and there is a probability for us to benefit from its findings, we must consider about
Change preposition
apply
its
risks Change the word
the
for
spending a lot on Change preposition
of
cosmos
, Correct article usage
the cosmos
and
before investigating deeply into Correct word choice
apply
galaxy
.Add an article
the galaxy
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Task Achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more depth and make your arguments more persuasive.
Language
Be careful with the spelling and proper term usage, such as 'astronautics' and 'spendings,' to maintain clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to include a wider range of linking devices to improve the flow between your ideas.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend your argument, providing clear insight into your stance.
Argument Development
You did a great job of presenting both sides of the argument before stating your own viewpoint, which makes your essay balanced.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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