Would you rather visit the moon or the sun? What would you do there?
Nowadays, It is apparent that
traveling
to the Change the spelling
travelling
moon
would be easier than the sun,
since the distance is shorter and the temperature could be colder. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, many of
spaceships had been Change preposition
apply
sending
to Wrong verb form
sent
observed
the Change the form of the verb
observe
moon
, also
there were people that
stepped out on the Correct pronoun usage
who
moon
.
The sun is known for its extremely hot and scorching heat. The journey to the sun would take quadruple the distance to the moon
. According to
that, I would prefer to visit the moon
search
for the future habitat of human beings and to experience the no gravity planet.
Since the world is facing Fix the infinitive
to search
global
warming crisis Correct article usage
a global
and
nobody knows when it is going to end. There is no doubt to search for the substitution planet to live on. If the resources of essential needs Correct word choice
apply
such
as air and water can be discovered on it, Inhabiting on
the Change preposition
apply
moon
would not be an unbelievable idea.
With no gravity on the moon
, it would be fun to move from one place to another place by not walking but floating around, and not touching the ground. The feeling of traveling
on the Change the spelling
travelling
moon
would be different from traveling
on the Change the spelling
travelling
earth
. Capitalize word
Earth
Additionally
, If in the future people move to the moon
, this
would encourage scientists to create new innovation that helps people to transport on the moon
.
To sum up
, living on the moon
would be exciting
and challenging idea for human beings. It would Add an article
an exciting
transforms
the way humans live and enhance many innovative ideas.Change the verb form
transform
Submitted by nnatthinee on
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task achievement
A good attempt at addressing the topic with clear expressions of preference and justification. Efforts to give relevant examples are made, but specific, concrete examples would further strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Future tense is generally reserved for predictions rather than hypotheses or suggestions. Consider changing "would not be an unbelievable idea" to "might be a plausible option" for clarity and conciseness.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clear and structured, but the transitions between them can be smoother. Using transitional phrases like "Furthermore," "Additionally," or "As such," can help create a more fluid narrative between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for repetitive phrases and aim for variety in sentence structure to keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
Mind the accuracy in terms such as "no gravity planet." The moon does have gravity, albeit much weaker than Earth's. For correctness, consider phrases like "with its lower gravity compared to Earth."
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You show strong critical thinking by discussing the potential for the moon as a future habitat due to Earth's environmental issues.
task achievement
Innovative ideas about living in and exploring the moon engage the reader and show a creative approach to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.