More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

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Due to
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technological
advances
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advances,
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we have a wide range of different kinds of
food
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:
most
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the most
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popular among young people - fast
food
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. The reason why young people choose fast
food
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is quite simple - they are always in a hurry and don't want to spend their precious time on finding
a healthy
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healthy food
a portion of healthy food
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food
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. Despite the fact that fast
food
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is very popular nowadays, I cannot skip to mention that more and more people are realizing that eating healthy
food
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will benefit them more
overtime
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over time
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. It goes without saying that following a
balancing
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balanced
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diet and keeping yourself fit increases the chances
to live
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of living
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longer. We all want to be in
a
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apply
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great shape and be capable of doing anything we want, I mean, have the energy and physical
strenth
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strength
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to accomplish any of our needs.
Moreover
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, doing physical
exercices regulary
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exercises regularly
, helps you to reduce
stress
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and focus on your thoughts. In our world, where
stress
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is quite
inseparable
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an inseparable
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part of our life, we should find ways
of
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apply
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how to reduce it and hitting
gym
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the gym
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is one of the best ways of coping with
stress
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and other
staff
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stuff
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that bothers you. Here we can mention not only gym, but
for example
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dance or yoga classes, meditation is quite popular as well. It helps you to concentrate, gather your thoughts and most importantly find the inner peace and balance within your body, which
on the other hand
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is
perfect
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the perfect
a perfect
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way of
copying
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coping
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with any
stress
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at work or life in general. When you are at peace with yourself, your thoughts and your emotions are in control - you can win every battle your life throws at you. Following what I mentioned above about
stress
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, we can make a conclusion - the less
stress
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the healthier you are. To keep yourself in
this
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shape - following a healthy diet is a must. Most young women are paying a lot of attention to
skin care
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skincare
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, and a lot depends on what we are eating. Eating fresh fruits and vegetables helps you to keep your skin
shine
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shiny
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and bright; any kind of fish helps you to improve your sight.
To sum up
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, everything depends on you and you decide on how you take care of your body. But I would strongly advise
to
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you to
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take
a
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apply
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good care of it, if you want to enjoy every aspect of your
live
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life
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when you are older. Remember, the more we look after
yourself
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ourselves
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at
young
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a young
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age the better it will benefit us later.
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

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Task Achievement
You've made excellent points about the importance of healthy eating and regular exercise, effectively covering the 'why' aspect of the question. Consider expanding on specific strategies or actions to encourage others to follow suit, directly addressing the second part of the question.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay flows well, but you could enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking phrases and transitional words to create smoother connections between your ideas.
Development
Try to explore the topic from different viewpoints to add depth to your argument. This could include discussing potential challenges people face when trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle and offering solutions to overcome them.
Mechanics
Remember to proofread your essay to catch any typographical or grammatical errors, as this will improve the overall readability and professionalism of your writing.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion encapsulate your main points nicely, providing a clear structure.
Supported Main Points
You've supported your main points with relevant examples and logical reasoning, which strengthens your essay significantly.
Engagement
Your enthusiasm for the topic comes through in your writing, engaging the reader and highlighting the importance of health and fitness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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