More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?
Due to
technological advances
we have a wide range of different kinds of Add a comma
advances,
food
: most
popular among young people - fast Correct article usage
the most
food
. The reason why young people choose fast food
is quite simple - they are always in a hurry and don't want to spend their precious time on finding a healthy
Remove the article
healthy food
a portion of healthy food
food
. Despite the fact that fast food
is very popular nowadays, I cannot skip to mention that more and more people are realizing that eating healthy food
will benefit them more overtime
.
It goes without saying that following a Correct your spelling
over time
balancing
diet and keeping yourself fit increases the chances Replace the word
balanced
to live
longer. We all want to be in Change preposition
of living
a
great shape and be capable of doing anything we want, I mean, have the energy and physical Correct article usage
apply
strenth
to accomplish any of our needs.
Correct your spelling
strength
Moreover
, doing physical exercices regulary
, helps you to reduce Correct your spelling
exercises regularly
stress
and focus on your thoughts. In our world, where stress
is quite inseparable
part of our life, we should find ways Correct article usage
an inseparable
of
how to reduce it and hitting Change preposition
apply
gym
is one of the best ways of coping with Add an article
the gym
stress
and other staff
that bothers you. Here we can mention not only gym, but Correct your spelling
stuff
for example
dance or yoga classes, meditation is quite popular as well. It helps you to concentrate, gather your thoughts and most importantly find the inner peace and balance within your body, which on the other hand
is perfect
way of Add an article
the perfect
a perfect
copying
with any Correct your spelling
coping
stress
at work or life in general. When you are at peace with yourself, your thoughts and your emotions are in control - you can win every battle your life throws at you.
Following what I mentioned above about stress
, we can make a conclusion - the less stress
the healthier you are. To keep yourself in this
shape - following a healthy diet is a must. Most young women are paying a lot of attention to skin care
, and a lot depends on what we are eating. Eating fresh fruits and vegetables helps you to keep your skin Correct your spelling
skincare
shine
and bright; any kind of fish helps you to improve your sight.
Replace the word
shiny
To sum up
, everything depends on you and you decide on how you take care of your body. But I would strongly advise to
take Correct pronoun usage
you to
a
good care of it, if you want to enjoy every aspect of your Remove the article
apply
live
when you are older. Remember, the more we look after Replace the word
life
yourself
at Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
young
age the better it will benefit us later.Add an article
a young
Submitted by helgavitalivna on
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Task Achievement
You've made excellent points about the importance of healthy eating and regular exercise, effectively covering the 'why' aspect of the question. Consider expanding on specific strategies or actions to encourage others to follow suit, directly addressing the second part of the question.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay flows well, but you could enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking phrases and transitional words to create smoother connections between your ideas.
Development
Try to explore the topic from different viewpoints to add depth to your argument. This could include discussing potential challenges people face when trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle and offering solutions to overcome them.
Mechanics
Remember to proofread your essay to catch any typographical or grammatical errors, as this will improve the overall readability and professionalism of your writing.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion encapsulate your main points nicely, providing a clear structure.
Supported Main Points
You've supported your main points with relevant examples and logical reasoning, which strengthens your essay significantly.
Engagement
Your enthusiasm for the topic comes through in your writing, engaging the reader and highlighting the importance of health and fitness.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.