IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

Sport and healthy
food
Use synonyms
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 a clue role in our lives. Some
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 might say that they live good with
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
 and
laying
Use the right word
lying
show examples
 on
sofa
Correct article usage
the sofa
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 watching TV, but it is not
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reason to be proud of. Fortunately, in our
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of young
mens
Correct your spelling
men
 and women
trying
Verb problem
are trying
show examples
 their best to stay healthy and
sportic
Correct your spelling
sporty
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of reasons why people
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 exercises and eat healthy
food
Use synonyms
.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of different factors that have
influence
Correct article usage
an influence
show examples
 on our health.
For example
Linking Words
, our air is intoxicated with
exhausted
Replace the word
exhaust
show examples
 fumes from cars and fabrics, and that causes
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of troubles with health
.
Check wording
troubles.
show examples
 To stay
healthy
Punctuation problem
healthy,
show examples
 some individuals prefer doing exercises
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
fresh
Correct article usage
the fresh
show examples
 air, somewhere in
forest
Correct article usage
a forest
show examples
 or
park
Correct article usage
a park
show examples
. The unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 causes a
lot
Use synonyms
 of different problems with our body
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
fatness
Check wording
obesity
show examples
 and others. For that
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who care about their
bodys
Correct your spelling
bodies
 are for
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle and eating healthy
food
Use synonyms
 like vegetables and fruits. To advertise
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Punctuation problem
lifestyle,
show examples
 we need to show
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 that life is much better when you fit and
sportic
Correct your spelling
sporty
. Being healthy doesn`t mean
to eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 only vegetables and fruits. There are numerous dishes that are delicious and healthy.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 we need to show that sport can be fun
an
Use the right word
and
show examples
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
. These are my thoughts about how to make people
healt
Correct your spelling
healthy

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas better. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and supports it with details.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction should clearly state the main points you will discuss. A clear conclusion summarizing your points would help too.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to back up your points about healthy eating and exercise. This will make your essay stronger.
task achievement
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes, especially with plural forms and verb tenses, to improve clarity.
task achievement
You showed a clear understanding of the topic and made relevant points regarding health and fitness.
task achievement
Your passion for the subject can be seen, which is a great strength of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: