IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

Let's be healthy! Let's train together! You can hear and see it everywhere. I do believe that today we live in
the
Correct article usage
a
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word
Use the right word
world
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 where
people
Use synonyms
 do care about their health and the way they look. What is the reason? To start with
-
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,
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 we are the generation of social media -
TicToc
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TikTok
, Instagram and YouTube. Almost each of us
follow
Correct subject-verb agreement
follows
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 some popular
blogers
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bloggers
, who are slim, beautiful, they
has
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have
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 a healthy way of life, they go in for sport, visit gyms. They "advertise" the healthy lifestyle. It became popular to be fit
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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people
Use synonyms
 like to follow trends.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 there are a lot of videos of common
people
Use synonyms
 who changed their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
 after reconsidering their
lifistyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 and
becomming
Correct your spelling
becoming
 to excercise
regularly
Replace the word
regular
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and
Check wording
exercisers and
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eat
Wrong verb form
eating
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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healthy food.
Such
Linking Words
 videos
enspires
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inspire
 a lot. It makes you
to
Verb problem
apply
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stop and think
of
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about
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 what
do
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apply
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you do for yourself.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we can see more and more online trainers show the great results of their students who follow some "simple rules", eat healthy food and do some
excersises
Correct your spelling
exercises
, and these results
enspire
Correct your spelling
inspire
 as well.
To
Change preposition
From
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 my point of view, it became easier to train. If you don't have enough time or money to go to the gym
-
Punctuation problem
,
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 you can train at home.
Thus
Linking Words
, you receive a ready menu with some useful recommendations, you receive a set of
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
 to do at any time, convenient for you, which
make
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makes
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 it
more
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apply
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easier for you to start it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are a lot of online and physical shops where you can buy
a
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apply
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healthy food. I would like to point out
,
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apply
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 that we do have various opportunities and resources
,
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apply
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 that can help us
to
Verb problem
apply
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take care
about
Change preposition
of
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 our health.
To conclude
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 understand
,
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apply
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 that our health is the most important thing, that
do
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does
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matters
Wrong verb form
matter
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 all we need is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 will to have a
wil
Correct your spelling
will
, strengthen and
selfcontrol
Correct your spelling
self-control
 to start following
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
lifistyle
Punctuation problem
lifistyle,
show examples
 as we do have a wide range of opportunities to do it.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the overall organization of your essay. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Work on using correct grammar and spelling in your writing. Proofread your essay to catch mistakes.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, as this will make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You provided relevant reasons why people are eating healthy and exercising more nowadays.
coherence and cohesion
You used a good variety of examples from social media and online trainers to support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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