Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their family. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Undoubtedly ,
children
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are the most powerful asset of a nation . It's very important to give them proper guidance and environment to grow up . One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the number of
people
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who believe that
children
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should spend their spare
time
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with their family
while
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some communities believe that it
shows
Verb problem
has
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some negative impact on
children
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's development. There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion . In upcoming paragraphs, I'll not only shed light on both sides but
also
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elaborate on my point of view. To embark on , if we have a deep look at the assertion we will certainly be able to identify the numerous reasons why folks agreed to the notion . The first and foremost reason is that
children
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's family is the first school where they learn about right and wrong , disciplines ,duty, behaviour and many more . So it's better to spend their spare
time
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with their families in that way they can learn many things which will help them to become successful
people
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.
Moreover
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, spending
time
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with dear ones can strengthen the bonding. They get to know each other very well .
Lastly
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, offspring can get to know their culture and traditions from family which
help
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helps
show examples
them to know their roots deeply . On the paradoxical side , there are myriad reasons why some communities feel that spending
children
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's free
time
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with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
has
negative
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a negative
show examples
impact on
children
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's development.
Firstly
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, some
people
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believe that physical
activities
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are as important as academic
activities
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. To lead a well-settled life it's very important to stay fit not only mentally but
also
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physically . That's why
people
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say it's better to spend
children
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's free
time
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to physical
activities
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rather than spending
time
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with their family .
Furthermore
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, spending
time
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with other
people
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helps
children
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to develop communication skills , teamwork, leadership and many more .
Lastly
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, spending
time
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in other
activities
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can help them to identify their hidden talents . In
such
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way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
, they can explore and express themselves in many ways .
To sum up
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, family and peer both have their own importance . Where family play a vital role in developing a good character meanwhile spending
time
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with peers helps
children
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develop numerous skills . As far as I can see it's better to spend
time
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on other
activities
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than spending
time
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with their family .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Introduction
Make sure your introduction gives a clear preview of what's to be discussed. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
Balance in Discussion
Strive to maintain a balance by discussing both views equally before stating your opinion. This ensures fair assessment of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and transitional phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
Examples
While providing examples, try to be as specific as possible to strengthen your argument.
Balance in Argument
You've provided a well-balanced view by exploring both sides of the argument before giving your opinion, which is a commendable approach.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the discussion and clearly states your opinion, effectively closing the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fosters
  • Sense of belonging
  • Transmission
  • Cultural and moral values
  • Overdependence
  • Hinder
  • Social development
  • Autonomy
  • Well-rounded development
  • Invaluable
  • Emotional and moral development
  • Self-reliance
  • Diverse interests
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