Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . Do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, there
are
plenty of community Change the verb form
is
work
which is given to teenagers. It is argued that youth should work
in this
type of work
without getting any financial compensation. I strongly agree with this
position. The following paragraphs will support my point of view.
To commence with, boys and girls in their adolescence have a huge energy, so they should spend it in a good way and to improve their personal skills and prepare themselves to be ready for future life which will require more experiences from them. For instance
, In China, old people
ask youthnees
to assist them in various works to progress their society and at the same time to educate them Correct your spelling
youth needs
some
skills Change preposition
on some
as
cooperation.
Correct quantifier usage
such as
Further
strengthening the view, young people
should know their duty toward their country as keep it cleen
and try to develop it more and more. Correct your spelling
clean
In other words
, every individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
have
to care Correct subject-verb agreement
has
of
their town to create a better life for themselves and their families. Change preposition
for
For example
, after the black days which happened in tornado Vit with
occurred in Oman in 2017, we can note the importance of unpaid Change preposition
apply
society
Replace the word
social
work
. In that period, most teenagers came out to help of
bring the country back better than it was, they Change preposition
apply
also
sought to help people
in damaged homes without waiting for others to ask them for that.
Some people
may not agree with me, they think that youth work
hard when they get rewards what
they are doing. To illustrate, teenagers will do better if the administrators award them money or gifts. Change preposition
for what
However
, if they not
get any payoff, they will not Change the verb form
do not
did not
work
sincerely.
In conclusion, I completely agree that young people
should share in unpaid society
Replace the word
social
work
in their free time. Despite that money is the main reason of
making Change preposition
for
people
working
well Wrong verb form
work
but
they should do whatever they can Correct word choice
apply
be
for Unnecessary verb
apply
them
country without Change the pronoun
their
taking
feesVerb problem
paying
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coherence cohesion
Consider enhancing your essay structure slightly by making sure each paragraph logically leads into the next, creating a more seamless narrative.
task achievement
Ensure you vary your vocabulary more to avoid repeating words and phrases. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of language.
coherence cohesion
Watch for minor grammatical errors that can slightly detract from the clarity of your message. Practicing more complex sentence structures with attention to their accuracy can improve your score.
task achievement
Consider providing more varied and detailed examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your case and make your essay more persuasive.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively framing your argument and summarizing your points.
supported main points
You have successfully utilized examples to support your arguments, which helps to make your essay more compelling.
complete response
You've demonstrated a clear understanding of the task and provided a well-structured response that addresses all parts of the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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