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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #ages #outweigh
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Nowadays, many of us, tend to have children at an older
age
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,
however
Linking Words
; other
group
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groups
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 of people think that an earlier
age
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 is better to have babies. I believe that
emotional
Correct article usage
the emotional
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 and financial
aspect
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aspects
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 of
this
Linking Words
 trend force many couples to plan
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
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 later in their life because it is more beneficial for them. To commence with, mental health plays a vital role in
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
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a
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of a
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child. If
,
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apply
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 parents are mentally ready for family planning, only
then
Linking Words
 they can raise their offspring in а better way.
For example
Linking Words
; it is more common that the children of alcoholics are neglected and
then
Linking Words
 indulge in illegal activities. Another advantage is that financially secure guardians can better support their newborn's health and expenses. It is
also
Linking Words
 true that most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people become financially stable after the
age
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 of
thirties
Correct pronoun usage
their thirties
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. Till that
age
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, they become mature enough to tackle
with
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apply
show examples
the basic needs of their child and to meet the expenses of their ongoing life. Despite all that; there are many challenges faced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
couples at an old
age
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 in giving birth to a child. First and foremost is the maternal
age
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 and conceiving power of the mother, which decreases with the increasing
age
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
; many other complications can be found in both of them.
For example
Linking Words
; sex hormones decrease in both genders after the
age
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 of thirties.
Secondly
Linking Words
, babies of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
age
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 couples often seen with rare disorders.
For instance
Linking Words
,
NT
Correct article usage
an NT
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 Scan
also
Linking Words
 diagnose the mother's
age
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 in order to find a disorder in
baby
Correct article usage
the baby
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is considered that reproducing at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 younger
age
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 is better because both parents are in good health.
To Conclude
Linking Words
, having
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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in
Change preposition
at
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later
Correct article usage
a later
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age
Use synonyms
 has the benefits of fulfilling personal
as well as
Linking Words
 financial needs in a better way and it
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
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 the physical disadvantages caused by 
age
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 which sometimes
effects
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affects
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 or not.
Submitted by bawanpreet070 on

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Essay Structure
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Clarity & Flow
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Vocabulary
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Grammar & Accuracy
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Structure
Effective use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay.
Content Depth
Your essay cogently weighs the advantages against the disadvantages, demonstrating good task achievement.
Use of Examples
Good examples provided to support your main points, enhancing the essay's persuasiveness.
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