Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #society #individuals

In the modern era, it is so easy for

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

to become dependent on other

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

. But others believe that there are

large

Add an article

a large

show examples

amount of youngers still earn money by themselves. I think that, despite there

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

some people dependent on their parents, today's youth

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

independent and I will clarify

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

in the below paragraphs. On the one hand, because of the advancement,

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

are developed in

fullfill

Correct word choice

a fulfilling

show examples

environment, they can have anything they want.

For example

, their parents had certain

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

so their springs just take over without needing so much

effortness

Correct your spelling

effort

, so they tend to waste money without thinking.

In addition

, some families tend to overprotect their children, they take care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

children even when their children have grown up.

However

, in the cutting-edge society, many youngsters get over themselves and make their own

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

For example

, there are many platforms

have

Correct pronoun usage

that have

show examples

emerged recently, young generation

applied

Wrong verb form

applies

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

very well to make

your

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own

brand

Fix the agreement mistake

brands

show examples

or some

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

famous KOLs. Thereby, they can earn a lot of money to cover their lives.In

additon

Correct your spelling

addition

, there are numerous young people with high will and determination, despite growing up in rich families, they have never stopped trying and relied on their family foundation as a strong shield in the future. In conclusion, it cannot

Add a missing verb

be dennied

show examples

dennied

Correct your spelling

denied

that a small proportion of young generations

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

dependent on others, there are many other

youngster

Change to a plural noun

youngsters

show examples

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

excellent, they

alwayls

Correct your spelling

always

try their best and create their career by themselves.

This

is a great motivation for young people to follow

Submitted by nhuquynhbn2004 on Tue Apr 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Variety

Try to use more varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to enhance clarity and showcase your language skills.

Logical Structure

Ensure your essay is clearly structured, making your argument easier to follow. Introduce your topic, present both viewpoints with examples, and conclude with your opinion.

Supporting Examples

Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.

Grammar and Accuracy

Pay close attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors which can distract from your argument's coherence.

Balanced Argument

You effectively discussed both viewpoints, providing a balanced argument.

Clear Opinion

You successfully conveyed your own opinion, integrating it throughout the essay and clearly stating it in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

interdependence
globalized economy
collaborative work environments
crowd-sourced
empowered
perception
availability
autonomy
reliance
shifted

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Complementary medicine has become more popular in recent years. An increasing number of the populace with health issues which are seeking any easier methods instead of scientifically proven medical treatment. In my view, this phenomenon is highly dangerous.
7
band
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Whilst many people have the belief that retailers and producers are obliged to diminish the mass-produced volume of packaged products, some individuals contend with the notion that buyers should be inclined to purchase unpacked goods instead of packaged ones. I firmly hold the view that it is a must for both manufacturers and markets as well as individuals themselves to address the growing concern of the packaging industry and its negative effects on the contamination of the earth.
4
band
2.Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view
Few individuals state that intellectual skills can be gained by interacting with many people. I firmly favor the view, that interactive activities enhances thinking, reasoning and their overall capacities.
6
band
Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?
It is the government’s responsibility to divide money equally on different aspects, one of them is space projects. However, some people think that the money should be spent on raising the standard of living on Earth. This essay agrees with the statement and will explain why.
8.5
band
You want to arrange a conference for your company, and you need to ask one of your colleagues to give a presentation at this conference. Write a letter to your colleague. Detail about the conference. Why do you want your colleague to give the presentation? What arrangement you will make for this conference?
I am writing this letter to inform you that you have to make a presentation about the new facial product which will be launched on 30 September 2023.

Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

2.Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?