Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the modern era, it is so easy for
youngster
to become dependent on other Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
peoples
. But others believe that there are Fix the agreement mistake
people
large
amount of youngers still earn money by themselves. I think that, despite there Add an article
a large
are
some people dependent on their parents, today's youth Wrong verb form
being
still
independent and I will clarify Add a missing verb
are still
it
in the below paragraphs.
On the one hand, because of the advancement, Correct pronoun usage
this
youngster
are developed in Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
fullfill
environment, they can have anything they want. Correct word choice
a fulfilling
For example
, their parents had certain career
so their springs just take over without needing so much Fix the agreement mistake
careers
effortness
, so they tend to waste money without thinking. Correct your spelling
effort
In addition
, some families tend to overprotect their children, they take care their
children even when their children have grown up.
Change preposition
of their
However
, in the cutting-edge society, many youngsters get over themselves and make their own career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
For example
, there are many platforms have
emerged recently, young generation Correct pronoun usage
that have
applied
Wrong verb form
applies
it
very well to make Correct pronoun usage
them
your
own Correct pronoun usage
their
brand
or some Fix the agreement mistake
brands
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
become
famous KOLs. Thereby, they can earn a lot of money to cover their lives.In Change the verb form
becomes
additon
, there are numerous young people with high will and determination, despite growing up in rich families, they have never stopped trying and relied on their family foundation as a strong shield in the future.
In conclusion, it cannot Correct your spelling
addition
Add a missing verb
be dennied
dennied
that a small proportion of young generations Correct your spelling
denied
still
dependent on others, there are many other Add a missing verb
are still
youngster
Change to a plural noun
youngsters
are
excellent, they Correct pronoun usage
who are
alwayls
try their best and create their career by themselves.Correct your spelling
always
This
is a great motivation for young people to followSubmitted by nhuquynhbn2004 on
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Language Variety
Try to use more varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to enhance clarity and showcase your language skills.
Logical Structure
Ensure your essay is clearly structured, making your argument easier to follow. Introduce your topic, present both viewpoints with examples, and conclude with your opinion.
Supporting Examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay close attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors which can distract from your argument's coherence.
Balanced Argument
You effectively discussed both viewpoints, providing a balanced argument.
Clear Opinion
You successfully conveyed your own opinion, integrating it throughout the essay and clearly stating it in the conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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