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Band 5.5

You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English-speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter - Introduce yourself: Roop - explain what is wrong with the furniture ; Washer is not working and one of the sofa in bad condition .Springs from sofa is out - say what action you would like the landlord to take : upgarde the washing sink and fix dinning table

#accommodation #country #condition #furniture #landlord #roop #washer #sofa #springs #action #upgarde
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
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 I am not satisfied with your
apartment
 furniture because most of
things
Add an article
the things
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 are in bad condition. My name is Roopkamal
kaur
Change the capitalization
Kaur
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, and I have been living in your
one bedroom
Add a hyphen
one-bedroom
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apartment
from
Change preposition
for
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 two months .I moved from California to the United
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
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 to complete
three
Correct determiner usage
a
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years
Correct your spelling
three-year
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 master's degree in law. Your
apartment
 is close to the University
inluded
Correct your spelling
included
 all amenities available in it .
However
 , there are some unexpected things
has
Wrong verb form
that have
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 been going on
such
 as
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
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 sink
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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leaking ,and
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the dinning
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dinning
Correct your spelling
dining
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 table
has crack
Wrong verb form
cracking
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 in the middle .
Moreover
 ,
closet
Add an article
the closet
a closet
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 is not
wide
Rephrase
as wide
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 as shown in the picture and
bed
Correct article usage
the bed
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 noise
during
Change preposition
at
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 night .
This additional problems
Change the determiner
This additional problem
These additional problems
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giving
Wrong verb form
give
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 me stress and
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
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 my half time of the day. I would like to give a notice in one month advance to leave
this
 place because there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of things in the
apartment
 that need your attention immediately. I would be glad if you could
rennovate
Correct your spelling
renovate
 your
apartment
 before renting in the future . I look forward to your reply, Yours faithfully, Roopkamal kaur.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central point that is well developed. Additionally, clearer transitions between your paragraphs could help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
While your response addresses the task requirements, providing more specific details about the problems with the furniture would strengthen your letter. Mentioning how these issues affect your daily life could add to the persuasiveness of your request.
Introduction and Closing
Your letter has a clear introduction and an appropriate closing, which is good for the overall structure.
Writing Tone
You maintain a polite and formal tone throughout the letter, which is suitable for writing to a landlord.
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