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Some people believe that having sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe that sports in school are a vital part of education. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #schools #waste #time #resources #school #part #education
We have been discussing
this
 issue, whether physical
education
 is needed in the
school
system
 or not. First of all, opponents of
this
 issue contend that physical subjects like music and sports are not related to entering university, so it doesn't matter to vanquish those in the
school
system
. They believe that students need more study in subjects like math, languages, and science related to entering university.
However
, advocates believe that the body and mental health are not different parts of human beings. As strong bodies follow their mental health
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
 They think that the
school
's violence is related to
this
 imbalance. If there is no chance to acquire physical subjects in the
education
system
, it might happen. In conclusion, from my perspective, it is crucial for children to learn sports in their
school
system
 because it promotes a healthy body and mental health. So, we should make an effort to strengthen physical
education
's role in our
education
system
.
Submitted by enoklee on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to discuss both views fully before presenting your opinion for a balanced discussion.
Task Achievement
Consider using more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to expand your conclusion by restating the main points of your argument and how they support your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion, which is great for the task achievement criterion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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