Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#education #business #world #development

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The popularity of remote learning and training through

Correct article usage

the internet

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internet

Capitalize word

Internet

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is globally become more wider in the field of business. I strongly believe that its merits

exceeds

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exceed

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the demerits. By educating courses through online

platformes

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platforms

, it is possible to search and find the top masters in the intended topics and directly learn from them,

consequently

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consequently,

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requiered

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required

skills

are seemed

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seem

have seemed

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to be more

achieveable

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achievable

in higher levels.

For example

, by reading about other

educator's

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educators'

show examples

opinion

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opinions

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, which

mostly

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are mostly

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available

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show examples

many platforms, the ability and knowledge of

tutor

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the tutor

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as well as

usefulness

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the usefulness

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of the

cource

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course

source

can be detected to

large

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a large

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extend

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extent

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. Opportunity to connect with

high ranked

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high-ranked

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universities worldwide without going abroad is another significant benefit of online

educating

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education

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For instance

, by attending

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apply

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short courses which are offered by well-known top universities namely Cambridge

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show examples

their online spaces,

besides

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apply

show examples

recieving

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receiving

high quality

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apply

show examples

educational materials and teaching

methodes

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methods

, it can enhance the individuals's resume. Preventing wasted time and extending free

times

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time

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to more study and practice is another important beneficial side of

this

approach. It means that by omitting the time which lasts for commuting, lots of spare time will

apear

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appear

Obviousely

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Obviously

this

lead

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leads

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to financial thrift, by reducing the

tutitional

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tuition

tuitional

fees which

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are

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normal for online classes rather than in-person ones,

along with

eliminated

Wrong verb form

eliminating

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costs of transport and migration.

Although

some people

thinks

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think

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that effective

educating

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education

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is only possible in

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a reall

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reall

Correct your spelling

real

atmosphere because of tangible, face-to-face discussions but I absolutely refute it, since by growing

communicating

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communication

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online

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of online

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apps and technologies these issues are supposed to be

negligable

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negligible

. In conclusion,

the

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apply

show examples

more accessibility and opportunities to

most

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the most

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relaible

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reliable

and qualified educational institutions and tutors

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apply

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will lead to

the

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apply

show examples

more undeniable improvement in

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the bussiness

show examples

bussiness

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business

knowledge and skills of learners.

Submitted by enayatollahi.at on Tue Apr 02 2024

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Grammar and Tense Consistency

Work on maintaining consistent verb tenses throughout your writing. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to understand.

Depth of Examples

Try to expand on your examples with more specific details to strengthen your argument. While you've provided relevant examples, delving deeper into them can make your points more convincing.

Paragraphing and Structure

Consider organizing your ideas into more distinct paragraphs, each centered around a single main idea. This will improve readability and make your essay's structure clearer to the reader.

Proofreading for Typos and Consistency

Regular practice with proofreading can help in minimizing typographical errors and inconsistencies in spelling ('educating' vs. 'education', 'tutitional' vs. 'tuition'). Paying attention to these small details can significantly polish your writing.

Topic Addressment

You've done a great job of identifying and discussing the benefits of online education, making a strong case for its advantages in the business world.

Conclusion Strength

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made throughout the essay, reinforcing your stance on the topic.

Effective Use of Examples

Using specific examples, like the opportunity to connect with high-ranked universities, helps support your main points and makes your argument more tangible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

287 words

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Certainly, let's enhance the essay to potentially achieve a Band 9 in IELTS Writing:

Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?