Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that countries with high
income
have to allow a larger number of refugees to cross their borders. I completely agree with Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
this
statement because it is morally correct and beneficial for their economies in a
Correct article usage
the
long-term
.
It is not adequate just to watch other nations suffering from being deprived of food and Correct your spelling
long term
saffety
. Wealthy states are capable of helping those who Correct your spelling
safety
requires
Change the verb form
require
this
help. War, hanger
, and other negative circumstances Correct your spelling
hunger
happens
all the time around the world. Rich states Change the verb form
happen
has
well-developed agricultural and construction sectors, so it should not be Change the verb form
have
chellanging
to provide a "safety net" to displaced people. Correct your spelling
challenging
For example
, many Europian
regions were involved in the biggest migration Correct your spelling
European
crysis
in the past decadeCorrect your spelling
crisis
,
and provided Remove the comma
apply
a
shelter to millions of foreigners showing Correct article usage
apply
the
good example of humanity.
Change the article
a
Besides
being cheerful, a positive effect of the
migration can be achieved. Some of those, who had to leave their homeland, will start Correct article usage
apply
setteling
down, Correct your spelling
settling
openning
Correct your spelling
opening
business
, and Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
become
a Wrong verb form
becoming
lobor
force in the end. Correct your spelling
labour
In addition
to that, it will be a
quite beneficial for economies Change the article
apply
on
a long distance, because a lot of new jobs will appear leading to Change preposition
over
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
of
incomes Change preposition
in
to
local areas, and it can boost Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
economy
growth Replace the word
economic
overall
. One of the prominent examples is the migration policy of the USA; people from abroad were accepted, sheltered, and allowed to open up business
increasing Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
country's
GDP.
In conclusion, from Correct article usage
the country's
ethical
point of view nations have to support each other and provide all the necessary stuff like food or accommodations for refugees. Add an article
an ethical
the ethical
Moreover
, this
movement can be paid back in advance by those who were adopted in the form of upward
trend Add an article
the upward
an upward
of
Change preposition
in
Add an article
the labor
labor
market.Change the spelling
labour
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Language
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the clarity of your arguments. For instance, 'hanger' should be 'hunger', 'chellanging' should be 'challenging', and 'lobor' should be 'labor'. Correcting such errors will make your writing more professional and easier to understand.
Coherence
To improve coherence, try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. Using phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition to', or 'Similarly' at the start of new paragraphs can guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
Development
While using examples, ensure that they are as specific as possible and directly support your main point. For instance, mentioning specific instances or data could strengthen your argument about the economic benefits of accepting refugees.
Task Response
Your essay effectively covers the topic, presenting clear arguments supported by examples, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.
Structure
The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, helps in presenting your ideas in an organized manner.
Critical Thinking
You presented a nuanced argument by discussing both humanitarian and economic perspectives, which shows an ability to think critically about the issue.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite