Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that countries with high
income
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incomes
show examples
have to allow a larger number of refugees to cross their borders. I completely agree with
this
statement because it is morally correct and beneficial for their economies in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term
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long term
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. It is not adequate just to watch other nations suffering from being deprived of food and
saffety
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safety
. Wealthy states are capable of helping those who
requires
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require
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this
help. War,
hanger
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hunger
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, and other negative circumstances
happens
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happen
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all the time around the world. Rich states
has
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have
show examples
well-developed agricultural and construction sectors, so it should not be
chellanging
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challenging
to provide a "safety net" to displaced people.
For example
, many
Europian
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European
show examples
regions were involved in the biggest migration
crysis
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crisis
in the past decade
,
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apply
show examples
and provided
a
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apply
show examples
shelter to millions of foreigners showing
the
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a
show examples
good example of humanity.
Besides
being cheerful, a positive effect of
the
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apply
show examples
migration can be achieved. Some of those, who had to leave their homeland, will start
setteling
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settling
down,
openning
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opening
business
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businesses
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, and
become
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becoming
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a
lobor
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labour
force in the end.
In addition
to that, it will be
a
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apply
show examples
quite beneficial for economies
on
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over
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a long distance, because a lot of new jobs will appear leading to
increase
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an increase
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of
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in
show examples
incomes
to
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in
show examples
local areas, and it can boost
the
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apply
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
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growth
overall
. One of the prominent examples is the migration policy of the USA; people from abroad were accepted, sheltered, and allowed to open up
business
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businesses
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increasing
country's
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the country's
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GDP. In conclusion, from
ethical
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an ethical
the ethical
show examples
point of view nations have to support each other and provide all the necessary stuff like food or accommodations for refugees.
Moreover
,
this
movement can be paid back in advance by those who were adopted in the form of
upward
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the upward
an upward
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trend
of
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in
show examples
Add an article
the labor
show examples
labor
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labour
show examples
market.
Submitted by serginio.nick on

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Language
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the clarity of your arguments. For instance, 'hanger' should be 'hunger', 'chellanging' should be 'challenging', and 'lobor' should be 'labor'. Correcting such errors will make your writing more professional and easier to understand.
Coherence
To improve coherence, try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. Using phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition to', or 'Similarly' at the start of new paragraphs can guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
Development
While using examples, ensure that they are as specific as possible and directly support your main point. For instance, mentioning specific instances or data could strengthen your argument about the economic benefits of accepting refugees.
Task Response
Your essay effectively covers the topic, presenting clear arguments supported by examples, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.
Structure
The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, helps in presenting your ideas in an organized manner.
Critical Thinking
You presented a nuanced argument by discussing both humanitarian and economic perspectives, which shows an ability to think critically about the issue.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
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