Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #refugees #assistance #food

It is argued that countries with high

income

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incomes

show examples

have to allow a larger number of refugees to cross their borders. I completely agree with

this

statement because it is morally correct and beneficial for their economies in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

long-term

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long term

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. It is not adequate just to watch other nations suffering from being deprived of food and

saffety

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safety

. Wealthy states are capable of helping those who

requires

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require

show examples

this

help. War,

hanger

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hunger

show examples

, and other negative circumstances

happens

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happen

show examples

all the time around the world. Rich states

has

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have

show examples

well-developed agricultural and construction sectors, so it should not be

chellanging

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challenging

to provide a "safety net" to displaced people.

For example

, many

Europian

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European

show examples

regions were involved in the biggest migration

crysis

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crisis

in the past decade

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apply

show examples

and provided

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apply

show examples

shelter to millions of foreigners showing

the

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good example of humanity.

Besides

being cheerful, a positive effect of

the

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apply

show examples

migration can be achieved. Some of those, who had to leave their homeland, will start

setteling

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settling

down,

openning

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opening

business

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businesses

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, and

become

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becoming

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lobor

Correct your spelling

labour

force in the end.

In addition

to that, it will be

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apply

show examples

quite beneficial for economies

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over

show examples

a long distance, because a lot of new jobs will appear leading to

increase

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an increase

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

incomes

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show examples

local areas, and it can boost

the

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apply

show examples

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

growth

overall

. One of the prominent examples is the migration policy of the USA; people from abroad were accepted, sheltered, and allowed to open up

business

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businesses

show examples

increasing

country's

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the country's

show examples

GDP. In conclusion, from

ethical

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an ethical

the ethical

show examples

point of view nations have to support each other and provide all the necessary stuff like food or accommodations for refugees.

Moreover

this

movement can be paid back in advance by those who were adopted in the form of

upward

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the upward

an upward

show examples

trend

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show examples

Add an article

the labor

show examples

labor

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labour

show examples

market.

Submitted by serginio.nick on Tue Apr 02 2024

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Language

Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the clarity of your arguments. For instance, 'hanger' should be 'hunger', 'chellanging' should be 'challenging', and 'lobor' should be 'labor'. Correcting such errors will make your writing more professional and easier to understand.

Coherence

To improve coherence, try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. Using phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition to', or 'Similarly' at the start of new paragraphs can guide the reader more effectively through your argument.

Development

While using examples, ensure that they are as specific as possible and directly support your main point. For instance, mentioning specific instances or data could strengthen your argument about the economic benefits of accepting refugees.

Task Response

Your essay effectively covers the topic, presenting clear arguments supported by examples, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.

Structure

The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, helps in presenting your ideas in an organized manner.

Critical Thinking

You presented a nuanced argument by discussing both humanitarian and economic perspectives, which shows an ability to think critically about the issue.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Refugees
Asylum seekers
Humanitarian aid
Integration
Multiculturalism
Economic impact
Public services
International law
Conventions relating to the status of refugees
Labor market
Cultural enrichment
Burden-sharing
Resettlement programs
Host country
Border security
Comprehensive policy

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Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. What extent Do you Agree or Disagree ??

Some people believe that successful sports teams are always those with the strongest or fittest players. Others think that success depends more on the team’s mental strength. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.