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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone between 2006 and 2010. •Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone between 2006 and 2010. •Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #people #phones #features #phone #•summarise #information #comparisons
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The table compares the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 using different phone features in
years
Use synonyms
 2006, 2008 and 2010. It is noticeable that almost all users used their phones
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
 calls in the three reported
years
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the least usage of mobiles was for recording videos. Communicative features were significantly popular
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, with 100% of
people
Use synonyms
 using their
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
 for calls in both 2006 and 2008, and 99% of them in 2010. A large number of users sent and
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 messages from 73 to 79 percent. 66 to 76
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of those having a phone took pictures,
whereas
Linking Words
 there was no data on recording videos in 2006 and not many
people
Use synonyms
 interacted with
this
Linking Words
 usage in other
years
Use synonyms
. There was a change of trend in gameplay; the amount of
people
Use synonyms
 using
this
Linking Words
 feature more than doubled in 2008. Internet surfing accumulated more interest over time.
Music
Correct article usage
The music
show examples
 play option was a negligible feature in all provided
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by viana.elahi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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