It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Risk
Use synonyms
is part and parcel of our
life
Use synonyms
.Taking risks in a good way always
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to be successful in
lives
Correct pronoun usage
their lives
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
in their
career
Use synonyms
growth.In
this
Linking Words
essay,I will discuss both
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
and cons and in my opinion,I believe that
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
of taking
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the upper hand
than
Change preposition
over than
show examples
cons. On the one hand,
risk
Use synonyms
can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fear,which can help
people
Use synonyms
to get back their confidence.
Everytime
Replace the word
Every time
show examples
we can see that
Use synonyms
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
individuals are passionate about their work,which can help them not only to minimize the
risk
Use synonyms
ratio but
also
Linking Words
help them to maximize the reward ratio.
In addition
Linking Words
,
risk
Use synonyms
takers study hard to
indentify
Correct your spelling
identify
the risky problem and make proper
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
to solve the problem.By doing
this
Linking Words
they can improve their personal
life
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
make a
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
up trend
Add a hyphen
up-trend
show examples
graph for their
career
Use synonyms
growth.
For instance
Linking Words
,we all know that
share
Correct article usage
the share
show examples
market is a risky place but if
people
Use synonyms
study hard and understand the share market very well they can
eran
Correct your spelling
earn
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of money,which can help them to make better
life
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
career
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,taking
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
is not a good option for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Risk
Use synonyms
can bring depression,
frustartion
Correct your spelling
frustration
and
also
Linking Words
mental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.After taking
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
, if
people
Use synonyms
can not get success in their
life
Use synonyms
they can be frustrated.
In addition
Linking Words
,losing money can create
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the family.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
may be humiliated by family members and
also
Linking Words
can lose respect
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For example
Linking Words
,if
people
Use synonyms
do not understand the share market properly but still try to earn money by trading randomly,not only they can lose their total
invesment
Correct your spelling
investment
but
also
Linking Words
they can lose faith
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
others. In conclusion,taking
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good planning should bring success to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's personal and work
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
but
random
Correct article usage
a random
show examples
Use synonyms
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
mentality can destroy
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by mokaddamul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Use
Consider varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance the sophistication of your essay. Using a range of sentence structures and employing more complex vocabulary can make your arguments more compelling.
Accuracy
Ensure your essay is carefully proofread to catch any typing errors, such as missing spaces and misspelled words ('earn' instead of 'earn', 'frustration' instead of 'frustartion'). Such small inaccuracies can slightly distract from your overall message.
Development
While your essay provides a clear position and adequately supports your arguments with examples, offering further depth and detail in your examples could strengthen your essay. Consider adding more specific instances or elaborating on the outcomes and impacts of the examples provided to make your points more persuasive.
Structure
You have done an excellent job of structuring your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. This structure helps readers follow your line of reasoning.
Balance
Your ability to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks is commendable. You provided clear and balanced viewpoints, making your argument comprehensive and well-rounded.
Examples
Utilizing real-world examples, such as the share market scenario, effectively illustrates your points and makes your argument more relatable and understandable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: