It is better to run your own business than to work for someone else. To what extent do yo agree or disagree?
Entrepernurs
are arising in the upcoming years as small industries Correct your spelling
Entrepreneurs
raising
with it. Some people believe that Verb problem
rise
its
is a good model to act as it provides freedom and Change the pronoun
it
somethig
of your own. Correct your spelling
something
However
, the risk factor is involved in the growth veruses
, Correct your spelling
viruses
a
Change the article
an
employee
in multi-national
company where Add an article
a multi-national
the multi-national
benifits
are given . In my Correct your spelling
benefits
persespective
, Correct your spelling
perspective
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
Correct article usage
apply
a
one well-being involving the factors can consider the suitable type.
To commence with, Businesses Correct article usage
apply
carries
many factors which have prons and cons. it depends upon the Correct subject-verb agreement
carry
personaility
of an individual which sector they Correct your spelling
personality
wants
to pursue their Change the verb form
want
carrer
in. Correct your spelling
career
For instance
, being a
Change the article
an
entrepernur
gives the ability to Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
work
in flexibile
Correct your spelling
flexible
timings
. In Replace the word
times
additon
to Correct your spelling
addition
this
, while
runing
a own Correct your spelling
running
buissness
a person starts taking Correct your spelling
business
risk
which may result in a growth in income and investing time in developing your trade results secured future. Fix the agreement mistake
risks
Moreover
, its
provides freedom which is not accompanied Correct pronoun usage
it
while
working for a company. As an employee
one always has to follow the rules and regulations of that firm which bound a
Change the article
an
employee
to fly thier
wings. Correct your spelling
their
Furthrermore
, another thing is if are person puts Correct your spelling
Furthermore
hundered
Correct your spelling
hundred
percent
, but an Change the spelling
per cent
employee
may not. For instance
, one of my close frend
Correct your spelling
friend
friends
kiran
owns a Change the capitalization
Kiran
resturant
on new year they were busy, but they were short staffed, Correct your spelling
restaurant
although
she was the owner of various resturants
, she did not Correct your spelling
restaurants
hesitated
to join the team and Change the verb form
hesitate
mantained
Correct your spelling
maintained
the
productivity for their guests.
Working in a big firm brings Correct article usage
apply
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
benifits
as dental and health services. Correct your spelling
benefits
Employee
only
Add a missing verb
are only
concerened
Correct your spelling
concerned
to
their job Change preposition
about
in
working hours Change preposition
during
whereas
in buisness
is Correct your spelling
business
tweenty four seven
. Jobs Correct your spelling
twenty-four-seven
provides
youChange the verb form
provide
a
promotion for better Add the preposition
with a
work
Correct word choice
and enhances
enhances
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
positon
security. As employed you can ask for vacations without stressing about the Correct your spelling
position
work load
. It provides you Correct your spelling
workload
work life
balance and a dedicated time to spend with family. Not only Correct your spelling
with a work-life
this
being employed, sick leaves are also
covered. For Instance
. my collegue
was experiencing some health issues, Correct your spelling
colleague
crtain
days of her leave was paid by the company.
Correct your spelling
certain
To Conclude
with
, every person has different working Change preposition
apply
ethices
which results in Correct your spelling
ethics
to choose
their Change the verb form
choosing
carrer
.
Business comes with high income Correct your spelling
career
carrier
along with
great risk. On the other hand
, job
provides a Correct article usage
a job
work life
balance under Add a hyphen
work-life
rule
and regulations.Fix the agreement mistake
rules
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Clarity & Accuracy
Ensure to proofread your essay to correct minor spelling and grammatical errors as they can impede clarity.
Development & Support
While your essay tackles both sides of the argument, greater development of your ideas with more in-depth examples would enhance your argument's strength.
Introduction & Conclusion
A more precise and clear introduction and conclusion summarizing your stance would enhance the essay's effectiveness.
Balanced Viewpoint
You've tackled both perspectives (owning a business and working for someone else) which is commendable.
Use of Examples
Your inclusion of personal examples and hypothetical situations helps make your argument more relatable and realistic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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