In some parts of the world it is increasingly popular to research the history of one's own family. Why do people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, the analysis
in
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of
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the history of one’s own family
are
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is
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becoming prevalent among several regions in the
worlds
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world
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. In
this
essay
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essay,
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I will outline some reasons for
this
phenomenon and discuss both views of
this
development. There are some reasons why
people
interested in discovering their family’s history. The most popular reason is that they are just curious about who their
ancestors
were and what things they did for society.
For instance
, it would be fascinating when find out
a
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if a
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general in
army
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the army
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was a member of their family.
This
kind of information can make
people
become proud of their origins. In
addtion
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addition
, many
people
research about history of their family because
this
activity would serve medical purposes,
that
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which
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could give them a hand to be aware of diseases
inherit
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inherited
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from their relatives.
This
tendency might
be bring
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bring
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benefits if your
ancestors
were a good person.
However
, it could be not necessary for
people
as it could be a waste of time and money, even some
informations
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information
pieces of information
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related to health care
seem
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seems
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not to be
significant
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a significant
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advantages
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advantage
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.
Therefore
, they should focus more on some methods which could cure
for
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apply
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them.
Moreover
, the data on their
ancestors
might have
negative
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a negative
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effect on their attitude in life. Take a person who
are
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is
show examples
a criminal as an example, that would make their young generations can not be proud and lose their
confidences
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confidence
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. In conclusion, the reasons
of
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for
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researches
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research
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in
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on
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family histories
such
as
need
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the need
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to know their
ancestors
and serving
for curing
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to cure
show examples
some diseases. And in my perspective, I think it will be
a
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an
show examples
unfavourable development.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Examples
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. Vague examples make your argument less persuasive.
Grammatical Accuracy
Be careful with spelling mistakes ('addtion' should be 'addition') and use punctuation appropriately to enhance readability.
Paragraph Development
Ensure paragraph consistency by focusing on one main idea per paragraph and expanding on it, instead of introducing multiple ideas with less development.
Structure
While your introduction and conclusion are clear, slight improvements could make them more engaging and concise, enhancing the overall structure.
Introduction
You effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear stance in the introduction, making your essay's direction clear from the start.
Understanding of Topic
You identified a range of reasons why people might be interested in researching their family history, showing an understanding of the topic.
Balanced Argument
The discussion on potential positive and negative outcomes of researching family history shows your ability to examine both sides of the issue.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genealogy
  • Heritage
  • Ancestry
  • Lineage
  • Descendants
  • Forebears
  • Pedigree
  • Dynasty
  • Progenitors
  • Ethnicity
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Familial ties
  • Archival records
  • Hereditary
  • Kinship
  • Self-identity
  • Patriarchy/Matriarchy
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