IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefer You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Madam Ruth, My name is Ibrahim, and I live in
room
Use synonyms
 #310. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring to your attention several concerns I have regarding my roommate's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Their talking loudly on the phone affects my studies. During my midterm week, since I cannot find a space in the library, I am studying in my
room
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 I am trying to focus on my exam,my studies are interrupted
due to
Linking Words
 his phone calls. He always receives a call from his friend or his family, and he speaks loudly during his calls.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I cannot read anything, and I cannot call my friend to ask a question about the exam
due to
Linking Words
high-volume
Correct determiner usage
the high volume
show examples
 in my
room
Use synonyms
. I have been suffering from my roommate's high-volume chat, and I have failed my exams
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of study. Considering my situation, I would appreciate it if I could be moved to a quieter
room
Use synonyms
. Alternatively, if possible, my roommate could be relocated to another
room
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 would allow me to study in a peaceful environment and prepare properly for my exams. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. Kind regards, Ibrahim

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task response
Score: 7. Add more key facts about the room and what you have done first. For example, say that you have asked your roommate to keep his calls down, but the problem is still there.
task response
Be more clear about your first choice. Ask for a single room, or a room with a quiet student, rather than only saying “a quieter room”.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 7. Keep one main point in each part. The long middle part has too many ideas: the library, phone calls, your friend, and failed exams. Split it into two parts.
coherence and cohesion
Use the right opening for the task: “Dear Sir or Madam,” not “Dear Madam Ruth,”. This also fits better with the given start.
task response
You answer all three parts: you tell the room problem, say how it hurts your work, and ask for a quiet room.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. The last part gives a clear ask.
coherence and cohesion
Words like “Although”, “Therefore”, and “Alternatively” help show links between ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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